


Lines that Shattered

by RachielDen



Series: Lines in the Sand [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Ancient Elvhen, Anger, Children, Death, Decay, Demons, Dragons, Evanuris, Evil stuffs, F/M, Fade, Faries, Fighting, Flirting, Fluff, Forgotten Ones, Good times, Haven't decided how this one ends, Humor, I forgot biotics, Internal Conflict, It does lead to a third story that is barely even a shape yet, It has been planned though, Love, Luna is not sneaky though she tries, MC swears like a sailor and is particularly violent, MC thinks she's funny, Maybe torture?, Oh and cussing, Old Gods, Pregnant, Protective, References to Skyrim and things that happened there, Sex, She doesn't really appear in the story though, Smut, Sneaky stuff, Spirits, Spoilers for story beware, The Veil, Things get weird, Thu'um (Elder Scrolls), Time Travel, Triplets, Underhill is a Bitch, VEIL, Verbal Fighting, Whole story is not written, World Skipping, World shattering, and magic, attempts at flirting, bad times, did i mention shenanigans?, fae, glamor, i.e. writer thinks she's funny, lots and lots of biotics, lots of fluff, physical fighting, shape shifting, shennanigans, that shape is unknown, the Fair Folk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23252233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachielDen/pseuds/RachielDen
Summary: I walk the different worlds, following paths that were formed when the universe was new. A half forgotten title; Anointed. New ones are being added and no I am not happy with it.I'm back in Thedas. It's strange to feel the magic of this world coursing through my veins again. Ten long years I've been gone, but to them it's only been one. The worlds… do not run congruent. That is unimportant. Whatisimportant is the task, the one written into the foundations of my soul.The Veil Must Come Down.
Relationships: Abelas (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s), Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Female Character(s), Solas/Original Female Characters
Series: Lines in the Sand [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1174715
Comments: 26
Kudos: 55





	1. In the Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good afternoon lovlies!
> 
> If you have questions about what happened in between Lines that Blurred and Lines that Shattered feel free to ask. I will answer them as that entire section was planned out and was supposed to be around ten chapters in and of itself. I am peppering in pieces of the history that took place so it makes more sense but... ya'll I really love this story (it is the first one I have finished... ever) and I want it to be fun for the both of us. If it isn't fun we're doing something wrong. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story the way you enjoyed Lines that Blurred. 
> 
> Also I want to send all of the love toward Ahab2631 who has become my internet wife. She has endured much babbling about Luna and Solas and has lent her eyes to the story more times than I can count.

I checked on the triplets for the third time. The room was too quiet and it had my teeth on edge. Everything should be fine, I was in the Inquisitor's stronghold. We were not at Skyhold; it was in the process of being abandoned. Why Ellana had chosen to leave it was not clear. My reasoning would have been that it was a long walk anywhere from Skyhold. Perhaps there were other reasons, but I was not privy to them. 

That and when Solas had left the Inquisition, something else had taken his place. I had yet to verify that it was correct, but according to sources the emotion that Solas left behind was strong enough to draw a demon to it. It fed off the energy, becoming stronger. 

It had taken me a while to locate that information and I wasn't sure I fully understood what had moved in. Parts of it had only been released, like the story was still being written. It was nearly a jumbled mess in my mind. Slowly I lifted a hand to press against my temple. It was complicated, the paths that lay before me. There were several that this world could walk and I wasn't quite sure if my presence influenced it. 

Once perhaps it would have, before when the Inquisition was new. But it had been a few years since its inception. The Inquisitor walked a new road. The ground under my feet was unfamiliar; it was strange, this place. 

This fortress was newer, I could practically taste the paint in the air. I knew it wasn't built specifically for her, it was another structure she'd taken for herself. I wasn't entirely sure if it had been appropriated or appointed to her, but she was slowly making it her own. I had seen it, in the way the soldiers moved, in the way those who were loyal traipsed across the grounds. 

From the balcony I stood on, I could see troops training in the nearby field, their movements almost blocky, as if they were unused to the terrain. Cullen watched from the curtain wall, his curly golden locks unmistakable even from this distance. 

Parts of me wondered what had happened to my own little group and if I should seek them out. I hadn't spent much time with them, and with how long it had been since I had walked this world I wasn't entirely sure I remembered their faces, let alone their names. Or trusted their loyalty to me. It was, after all, Ellana's Inquisition they had joined. 

Sighing, I rubbed a hand across the back of my neck and checked on my children for the fourth time. All three were sleeping soundlessly. Normal children aged faster than mine did and I didn't know if I should be worried or not. Not that I could blame anyone but myself for that, because I  _ had _ kept them a secret from the only person who could have told me. His name was almost unspeakable to me. It had followed me through dozens of worlds, his name and the promise I had made him. 

_ I would die a thousand deaths just to be with you again _ . 

I reached down to tuck the corner of the blanket under Dimitri; the tips of my ears twitched when I heard footsteps approaching. Lifting my head, I inhaled and caught two different scents swirling on the air currents. My eyes narrowed; only one scent was permeated in the room, soaking into the fabrics of the blanket and the rug. 

It could be any number of people, but if they were approaching with Ellana most likely they were friendlies. It would be unwise to attack anyone who came with the Inquisitor. 

I ruffled the curtain until it hid my children and went to sit on the edge of Ellana's desk. It was more organized than it had been in the past, the entire room was. It felt like she was growing up and some part of me was proud of that. I knew it wasn't Cullen's influence. I'd seen his desk. 

Not that I needed to be proud of her. Hell, it was very likely she was going to be livid with me. Hopefully not drag-me-behind-her-horse angry. I wouldn't tolerate that a second time, I had things to do. 

As they walked into the room they stiffened. Ellana's eyes flared wide and I smiled, lifting a hand to wave. 

Something pinged off my natural barrier. Turning, I looked at the other person. Leliana stood there. I inhaled her scent, taking it deep into my lungs to file away for later purposes. Though I was baffled by her presence and lack of white and red robes. 

Wasn't she supposed to be the Divine? I… what had happened while I'd been gone?

"What are you doing in here?" Ellana asked, her voice hard. Her face was pinched in anger. It was to be expected. 

I took a step back, making sure the triplets were inside of my barrier, and lifted a brow at Ellana and Leliana. 

"I anticipated mixed feelings about my return, but I never thought you'd shoot at me." I gave Leliana a pointed look; the bow was still in her grip and she looked like she was about to let another arrow loose. 

"You speak as if we know who you are." Leliana's voice rang out. She seemed hard. I furrowed my brows and tossed a look at Ellana again. I looked down at the ground. My hair tickled bare shoulders as it fell in ringlets around my face. Did they not know who I was?

This was the correct world. I had traveled to a few where I'd never set foot before and verifying this was the world had taken me a little time. I'd been here little over a month gathering information. 

I grabbed a handful of scarlet hair and was about to push it over my shoulder when I realized that it shouldn't  _ be  _ scarlet. Sighing, I dropped the glamor and looked up at them. Pale white hair took its place and the physical representation of the promise Lily made for me slithered over my skin in varying shades of gold. 

It was difficult to remember what face I was wearing. 

I'd discovered a lot of things on my travels. One of them was what I truly was and why my face changed when I jumped lives. I'd since gained control over that little annoying problem. 

"You dare to wear her face, demon?" Leliana snarled before she shot at me again. It glanced off of my barrier once more and I glared at her before lifting a finger. My biotics surrounded her, putting her in stasis. I don't remember Leliana being this protective over my face. Yes, it was a very lovely face, but surely it did not warrant another arrow. 

"Not a demon." I pointed at her, knowing that while she couldn't move she would still be aware. Ellana's sword rang as it was pulled free from its sheath. I eyed her. She wore a shield on her back, it glimmered an iridescent blue. I could feel the enchantments from here. They were strong and, to my ears, they sang to the beat of war drums. 

Perhaps this had been a mistake. 

My original purpose in coming here was to let my friends know I was alive, and to get the location of a particular place I was looking for. I knew the general area thanks to information from outside worlds--Earth primarily--but not the precise one. Approaching Ellana had seemed the best option seeing as how the Inquisition kept records of all of their endeavors. And they would be the most likely to keep my secret. 

"Then what are you?" Ellana's voice was hard as she took a step forward, "You wear the face of a dead woman." 

My lips rounded in an 'o' and things started to make sense. "He did not tell you, did he?" Why wouldn't he tell them? I narrowed my eyes at the ground again. He knew I would be back, I'd sworn it. He couldn't know at the time but my inherent nature didn't allow me to lie. Small ones were possible, and lies of omission. But oaths? I couldn't break them. 

I had not been aware of it at the time. It was not just the pull of the promise from Lily, but the pull of the promise I made to the man who was their father. I swore to fight through the worlds to return to him. It rankled a little. 

"How long?" I asked as I rounded the side of the desk I'd been perched on. With the arrows no longer a danger I needed distance. If that sword got through the barrier and hit one of them I would… well it wouldn't be pretty. 

Ellana glared at me, "How long what, demon?" Though she didn't seem convinced anymore. Not with Leliana encased in blue. It was not a common gift here on Thedas. 

"How long have I been gone?" Quick fingers rifled through letters, searching for a date. I  _ thought _ I had arrived little more than a year after I'd been gone, but I wasn't entirely sure. When asking for dates they gave you a year, not the month and day. It wasn't as if I had walked around a lot. Not with the children, having them out in the open was dangerous for everyone. 

Another mistake that I'd made. Another promise, one that I had been forced to keep before, and I was certain that I'd have to do it again. 

I tipped my head up to look at her. Ellana's mouth was pinched into a firm line. I sighed and looked around. "You remember a different woman, destructive, prone to violence, could get angry about a pin hitting the floor. It's been ten years for me. The worlds… do not run congruent." My gaze went distant for a moment, remembering my discombobulation.

Attention snapped back when the tip of her sword lowered a fraction of an inch. Barely noticeable. "Prove it." 

I laughed and sat down in the chair behind the desk. "What would you have me say? I held back an avalanche at Haven, when we fell into that abandoned mine you were still angry at me for lying about my abilities. You were so convinced that I was abandoning you." My gaze shifted to Leliana. The stasis would drop in a few seconds. "She asked me to return to her when the Inquisition was over so I could work for her." Lucky for me the Inquisition was not yet finished. 

My fingers wrapped around the dagger she'd given to me. I'd kept it all these years because it was a good tool. Gripping the handle I slammed it down onto the smooth surface of the table. 

"A gift," I lifted my brows in challenge as the stasis dropped around Leliana. 

I stiffened when one of the triplets made a noise. Gabriel if I was a betting woman. I was halfway out of the chair when Leliana turned to look at the curtains around the windows. 

"Point your weapon at them and die," I warned. My voice was light but if these women really believed I was Luna they would also know how serious I was. 

"Them?" Leliana asked with a lifted brow. She shared a look with Ellana. "The Champion-"

"How many?" Ellana asked, her voice brittle. I didn't know if it was hope or not. I'd been gone for far too long to pinpoint her emotions. 

"Three." 

  
  
  
  


I wasn't welcomed back with open arms, but the hostilities had ceased. Cullen and Josephine had been called in to listen. I detailed everything I knew, hoping that if they were aware of what was happening behind the curtains sooner than they discovered on their own, one of them would be able to stop it. 

I'd discovered that Cassandra had become Divine. It was a… surprise. Given the events of the Inquisition itself I expected Leliana to be put in that seat, however it just further proved to me that this was a living breathing world, not a video game. 

Cullen was fascinated by the children, while Ellana had looked at them with fear. It wasn't a response I had anticipated, they were after all little more than babes. However, it seems fear ran deep in the veins of the Dalish. They were the children of Fen'Harel and he was the world breaker. There was mistrust in her gaze when she looked at me, for I had been his lover. I'd known and not said anything. The humans in the room did not grasp the severity of the situation. Ellana did. 

I watched Cullen closely but all he did was hold Gabriel and tickle his tummy. Demitri and Lily were still in their respective baskets next to me. There they would remain, both of them dangerous to the human psyche.

Josephine looked at me, "You will not stay, then?" 

I shook my head, "No." My fist tightened on the armrest. "I cannot." 

Ellana looked at the vallaslin that covered the visible portions of my body. "You know who did this?" 

"I have my suspicions." I verified. 

"I can't be certain but…" Ellana gave me a sad look, "They do not seem like the ones my people wear." 

"Because they are not." I sighed and stood abruptly. "They are from before the veil. They are slave markings, Ellana." 

Someone knocked on the door and Ellana issued a firm 'Enter!'. The door creaked when it opened. I loved doors like that. I wondered if Cullen left it like that on purpose, so they couldn't be snuck up on while they were sleeping, or being intimate. Or maybe it was Ellana, she did have contracts taken out against her at one point. 

Harding walked into the room and handed Ellana a piece of paper. "Never did get that drink." She shot at me and I flashed her a smile before she was dismissed. Harding was a woman who took things on faith and sorted the rest out later. I was back and that was good enough for her apparently.

"Tell me," I'd been curious since I'd gotten here, "how are the Chargers?" Gentle Krem came to my mind during the quiet nights. Part of me still wondered what would have happened if I'd said yes to him instead of Solas. 

The four of them shared a look and something inside of me twisted. I turned, not certain I could stand still at the moment. Crossing the room I looked at the paper in Ellana's hand. 

"I see." I gave a stiff nod, "Watch him. When the time comes he might… turn." Numb fingers closed around the piece of paper and I read what was on it. "Before I go," I turned to look at the gathering of the people I considered friends. Cullen and I never did see eye to eye, but that seemed behind him now. How much a person could change in a year continued to surprise me, "I need your oaths that you will not tell anyone how you received this information. Tell them whatever you have to, but no one can know that I've returned." My gaze went to the child in Cullen's arms. "Nor that they exist." 

"They are leverage." 

Ellana looked a little worried, "He has your scent. There is little the Dread Wolf will not do to have the four of you back." Her words spoke of fear if he learned the Inquisition had kept this from him. 

That was what scared me. Now that he was closer to his full strength, I feared he thought himself insurmountable. He might be, I would find out soon. 

Cullen cleared his throat and caught my attention in the process. "We've kept tabs on Dorian, Amara is with him." 

My heart lurched at her name and I didn't trust myself to speak it, I wanted her safe and happy. With Dorian she would be. Of course I wanted her with me, but it was too dangerous right now. It was better she was with him. 

"Gypsy?" My voice caught slightly on her name. I cleared my throat and looked away. Gypsy could be with me with little danger. She was after all a very large dire wolf with the intelligence that neared human levels. 

Jospehine looked at Leliana. Leliana gave me a soft look, "She disappeared the same day Solas did." I pursed my lips and nodded. "When you didn't come back, she wasn't the same Luna." I kept my face passive, though despite my best efforts a single tear fell from my lashes. Solas never did care for my wolf, why he would take her with him was beyond me. Unless it was to.… Perhaps. 

I swiped a finger under my eye, "Bread?" 

"With Dennett." Ellana answered quickly, "It seemed the best place for him." 

A breath of relief swept over me. Two of the three were safe. Dennett would take care of him. 

"When do you leave?" Josephine asked. She was compassionate and upon seeing what all of this had done to me she changed the topic. Ever the clever ambassador. I would have to work on my expressions. If Josie could read me like an open book it would be worse with Solas. I was hoping he wouldn't be able to recognize me when I wore a glamor. 

"Now." I lifted the piece of paper up, "Remember, I was never here." 

"Be careful with them," Ellana's voice was hard. "They were not kind to outsiders." 

I laughed and tilted my chin up, "Figures." Not that I didn't already know what they thought of those who traveled the world now. 

Slowly I pressed both of my hands together, pooling my magic into the palms. When I separated them four little pearls lay against my skin. Into each of them I placed a wish and a spell. As I did so I crossed to the desk, when I was finished I set them on the flat surface. 

"These will keep you safe, insofar as they can." Turning I looked back at the people who I once would have given myself to save. "You only have to crush them when you are in need." 

Cullen stood up and walked over to look at what I'd left. He picked one up and gave me a curious look. 

"You are what you eat." 

  
  
  


I traveled deep into the Arbor Wilds. The bottoms of my feet were sore, despite how long I'd traveled on foot. The horse the Inquisitor had given me had long since been abandoned. 

Here and there I caught glimpses of trails not made by wild life. Coming here was a gamble. Everything about my plan was a risk. All I knew was that I couldn't trust Solas with our presence. I wasn't entirely sure where the two of us stood. It wasn't  _ Solas _ that I couldn't trust, but his enemies. If they learned there were children of Fen'Harel walking this world they would be easy targets, all they needed was to grab one to force me into their service. And the last time I'd seen Solas….

When I'd walked Tamriel I'd discovered a few things. One of the most interesting had been that it and Thedas were connected. Oblivion and the Fade were two sides of the same coin. And when both of us slept we could find each other there. We had not agreed on his plans. 

In the depths of the woods light was scarce. The tops of the trees blotted out the sky and shadows ran rampant. Rain trickled down from the canopy. In the distance I could hear thunder. 

With a sigh I decided to find a place to stay for the night. It would be safer and easier to approach the temple by the light of day. Those that came at night were usually not trusted, and none of them would see past what I showed them. I had several cards up my sleeve but I would prefer not to use them. I did not yet want to reveal what I was, not to anyone who could whisper into his ear. 

I would be a fool to think that those within would greet me with open arms. I knew how they treated outsiders and knew that most likely this was a horrible idea. But after weighing the other options this was the most attractive idea. 

My body continued forward while my mind was stretched outward, looking for any sort of magical trace. I knew they were out here. When I found a hollowed out tree I crawled carefully into it, leaving the children outside of it in case there was anything undesirable within it. 

When I was confident that nothing was going to attack us I crept back out and pulled the basket that contained my children inside with me. I waved a hand at the entrance, causing the magic inside of me to flare. I held my breath as the enchantment settled over the opening. 

It was a subtle spell. It would cause anyone approaching to overlook this place. It wouldn't become invisible, more like they wouldn't have a burning desire to approach it. They would see it and walk away. There were certain things that could cause this spell to malfunction. 

However I was confident that no one had seen me place it, there was no residual magic floating in the air around me, no eyes watched from the darkness that I could perceive. 

With a sigh I shed my glamor and looked down at the three bundles sleeping soundlessly inside the basket. 

Lily, Demitri and Gabriel. The three of them had been with me for a little over two years and I didn't think I could ever love anything as much as I loved them. Slowly I ran a gentle finger over Lily's brow. 

She had brown hair and her father's complexion. Both of her eyes were gold. She was small, smaller than her brothers. Each of them looked somewhere between six to eight months old. However she was a little different than both of them. She enjoyed her sleep, like her father did. A heavy sleeper, not to mention her other little gift. All of my children were special in different ways. 

I lowered myself onto the ground and shifted my gaze to Demitri. My little carbon copy. His skin was a shade darker than mine but he had my silver hair and pale blue eyes. My leg curled around the basket as I tucked the blankets around him, careful not to disturb him while he slept. He was my little problem child, he hated sleep and resisted it as long as he could. 

I was wary when I turned to Gabriel. He, as far as I knew, didn't have any ability that made interacting with him dangerous. He looked just like his father, complete with a little dimpled chin. He went down easily and woke even easier. Cautiously I shifted the blankets and when he moved I stilled instantly, my eyes wide as I watched him closely. 

If a baby started crying it would shatter the enchantment. Not the magic itself, but I'm sorry a crying baby tended to draw eyes. 

When he did nothing more than grab my finger with his tiny little hand and let out a sigh I followed suit and let out one of my own. My back was a little less rigid. I shifted, doing my best not to move Gabriel as I laid down next to the three of them. 

Sleep didn't come easy, I lay awake for a few hours before it eased me off when I least expected it. 

  
  
  


Pain woke me. The sounds of babies screaming drifted to my ears from quite a distance away. Turning hurt, and I lurched to my feet despite it. I sucked in a breath, which turned into a gasp at the wave of agony that swept over me. 

The little hollow tree spun in my vision and I threw out a hand to steady myself. Something warm trickled down the back of my head and when I reached behind to touch the aching spot I nearly fell over again. 

My silver hair was a rusty brown color. Dried blood. How long had I been…? It didn't matter. Only my children mattered now. Closing my eyes I inhaled slowly and once more lifted a hand. Ms. Flame had been a healer of renown. Quickly I ran my hand over the spot, pushing past the pain, and sealed the fracture on my skull as well as mended the wound that continued to weep blood freely. 

When I turned my magic inward my suspicions were confirmed. I had lost quite a bit of blood. Turning I glared at the entrance. Rain fell in droves. With the first step I took life bled out of the tree and into me. I consumed its essence, twisting it until it satiated me. 

The second step I took put me at the mouth of the tree. An arrow flew in my direction, lifting a hand I gripped the shaft, the tip scant millimeters from my face. My gaze, wild and dangerous sought the archer. 

I blinked once when I found her, magic glowing around my fingertips a split second before a conjured bow appeared in my hand. The arrow fit against the string easily and when I fired she dodged to the side. I slammed my foot to the ground and threw an arm low in her direction. My biotics slammed out, seeking its target. I didn't pause to gain confirmation the archer would be put out of commission. 

Instead I turned toward the direction my children had been. I broke into a sprint. Muscles screamed at me as they were pushed to their limits. Trees whipped past me, I moved faster than was wise.

My body twisted through the dense foliage as I made my way ever forward. Shouts from unfamiliar throats drifted to my ears. I threw a hand up in the air, a blue barrier encompassed me. 

The voices led me to the Temple. Ellana's information was not needed after all, though I should have heeded her warning. It should not have been necessary, I should have anticipated this. After all, I knew the children's souls would sing to them. They sang to  _ me _ and I was not truly what they were. 

Cursing lowly under my breath I caught sight of my children as they were carried across the bridge. The portcullis door was still up, but as soon as the scouts got through I knew they would close. 

Something pinged off of my barrier behind me. My hand came up, primed with throw and as I twisted I let go of it. A scream reached my ears, though it was distant. Turning back I ran across the golden bridge. With every step I took my very presence eked out, maring the beautiful material forever. 

I jumped, using charge and threw myself forward, closing the distance between those that were in front of me. 

More shouts rose up into the air and bodies appeared on the curtain wall. Arrows fell around me, closely followed by destructive spells. The portcullis doors slammed down. I knew I was not invincible, and if I didn't take those archers down it was a very real possibility they could push me from this world. 

My gaze darted between the two sides of the gate. Six on the left, four on the right. I threw singularity at the left side, closely followed by throw. I didn't watch as the singularity set itself up. I knew what would happen, seen it thousands of times. 

When I was close enough I threw myself forward again, biotics wrapped around me as I charged forward. The portcullis door shattered under my touch. Slowing for the first time since the triplets had been taken I straightened and looked at the gilded doors behind the now destroyed gate. 

Silver hair covered a portion of my view so I flipped it over my shoulder and went to push the doors open. Someone barred them from the other side. I let out a low laugh that was devoid of any mirth. 

I knocked on the door, "Hello Friends!" My voice was elevated to the extreme and the knocking turned to pounding. "Give them back." I roared it before laying my hand on the doors. My thoughts descended into the metal to search for a weak point. 

A voice on the other side of the door hissed at me. "You stole them, soulless creature." 

"Soulless?" I laughed and it came out slightly unhinged. If they only knew. 

"You will not foul them with your presence." The voice was confident. Do not tell me he thought this door would keep me out forever? Was there some magic placed on it that prevented it from being breached? I had yet to encounter something that could keep me out indefinitely. 

I turned to glare at the door. Foul them? 

Charge came back up. With no thought at all I used it. It didn't shatter like I thought it would, instead I left a humanoid shaped dent in it. Curious. Again I sent my consciousness into the material, searching for the enchantment that kept it intact. 

My inherent nature went to work when I found it. A smile slowly spread across my face as the metal began to dull. The edges were already fading to black. 

More noises drifted to me from behind the door. To my ears they sounded worried. 

Someone shouted 'Get back!' as the black began to spread. I blinked slowly as I continued to drain the life out of the door. It was what I did. I ate things, and this would be no different. 

When the metal was black all around the edges of the massive doors I hit it with charge again. It did not shatter, though this time it did something different. Everywhere that black had touched broke. The entirety of the structure fell inward and I walked over it. 

"I want my children back." I looked around the room at the gathering of ancient Elvhen. All of them had some sort of weapon, all of them in glittering golden armor. Their shoes had individual toe slots and the area around their chests looked like it was woven out of gold fabric. I knew better though, it was an old crafting ability that was lost to the ages. 

"Who are you?" Someone asked as I straightened. My gaze locked on them and I saw the sneer on his face. From his tone and the structure of his jaw it could only be one person. I tilted my face to the side as I regarded him. 

How to answer it? He did ask  _ who _ not what. "Their mother, Sorrow." I answered simply, deciding that giving my name right now would not be in my best interest. I saw the edges of surprise take root on his face. He was probably wondering how I knew his name. 

Lily was crying somewhere in the background. I could imagine her face pinched in fear and the tears that fell from her eyes. Anger exploded in my chest. 

"Do not touch them, for your own sake." I tapped the side of my nose as I walked forward, my emotions were kept to myself. "And there is also a matter of the price that must be paid." 

"Price?" Someone whose name I did not know asked. I zeroed in on them. One individual felt froggy and the twang of a bow sang to my ears. The arrow clattered to the ground, useless. I looked at it pointedly and smiled in the general direction it had come from. They paled. My smile widened, showing more of my teeth. The arrow hadn't gotten within three feet of me. 

"For the removal of my children from my care." My head swiveled back to look at the elvhen who had asked me a question, the wide smile still on my face. "Oaths are a serious matter, not to be taken lightly. I will not be denied." 

"Why should the children not be touched?" Abelas redirected. He was being awfully chatty considering I had just wrecked part of the temple. Did he have suspicions about what I was? Or who? Had I been mentioned during Solas' brief visit here? I wouldn't put it past the man. 

I looked him over, tilting my head to the side as I did so. Others in the room shifted uncomfortably as I scrutinized their leader. "Asking the important questions, that's good Abelas." I'd moved forward at this point and stepped off of the door. Collectively the others in the room held their breath as if something would happen. I lifted my eyebrows and looked around expectantly before smiling up at them again. 

And I do mean  _ up _ because not one of them in this room was under six foot seven. 

"One of them can shatter your mind, the other will just consume you." My children were unique and there was a reason I did not let my friends hold Lily or Demitri. 

Another individual took a potshot at me and I glared at the arrow as it clattered to the ground. Were they going to continue shooting pointlessly at me? "Shame, really, that we had to meet this way." I had intended to come and ask a simple question, now it looked like I might be wiping out this temple. "As for the price." I tipped my head back and looked at the ceiling. "One of you must die." 

As a whole all of them started to whisper. I turned to look at Abelas. Wondering what he would do. 

"Who is to say the children are yours?" He countered, the whispers did not die out. His face was covered in anger but none of them attacked me again. It was a good thing I didn't swear to kill any who stood against me. That would have been ugly. 

"I would show you the scars, but…" I lifted a shoulder, "I heal when I can." I turned my head to the side and pushed silver hair behind my mangled ear. "I have enough scars as it is." 

I tilted my head back to him to gauge his reaction. His face remained passive and I was impressed. I smiled at him again, he didn't like me and that was fine. He didn't have to like me. It would have been easier, but it wasn't necessary. 

"No one here will die to fulfil your oath, creature." 

It didn't even sound like a capital 'c'. I was so hurt. The smile was still on my face. "Well, it's either one of you, or all of you." I stood on tiptoes to look past the gathering into the room I was pretty sure contained my children. My voice turned hard when I spoke again, "Choose, I can not be denied." 

Abelas lifted his hand and magic sprang out. I was faster. I wrapped him in stasis, the magic however did not die before it reached me. Flames kissed the side of my cheek and the smell of burnt hair caressed my nose. Pain seared me to the very bone. 

Lovely. Turning I arched a brow and lifted a hand to my face. I reached for Ms. Flame--I learned her real name was Drynne--and healed the damage with the swipe of my hand. The hair could not be regrown, but I'd shaved the sides of my head once. 

As I touched the spot where her soul twined with mine a gasp went through the crowd and they began to cast wary glances at each other. I arched a brow at them, before turning back to Abelas. 

_ Void touched. _

_ One of the People. _

_ She was killed by the Dread Wolf.  _

_ Forgotten One.  _

None of it was in common, yet all of them here seemed to know the taste of her soul. "Lovely, really." I took several steps forward. None of them retreated but Abelas had been set apart from them, standing farther forward as a leader often does. I walked around him, careful to check that my barriers were still in place. My gaze darted down to his thighs, and I cocked a brow. Were all Elvhen sculpted like this? How did women get anything done around these men?

As I rounded him, the stasis field dropped and I looked up into his yellow eyes. One of my brows was arched, "Choose, Sorrow. Surely someone here is willing to give their life so the entirety of the collective does not perish. How many Elvhen still wander the world?" I turned and walked away from him, back toward the dented door. Upon reaching it I sat on it. 

Everyone in the room was looking at each other, worry pinching their brows. They knew what I was now. It would be wise of me to just end everyone here and seek out another for my purposes, but wiping out a species was what I had come here to prevent. I did not  _ want _ to kill them all. That did not mean I would not if they forced my hand. 

Someone stepped forward, a woman with gentle sloping cheekbones, lovely violet eyes. She was absolutely stunning. "I give my-" 

"No." Abelas' voice was harsh when he spoke and I lifted both of my brows in his direction. He would have all of them die? And then he surprised me. "I will do it." 

Protests rose up and a smile crept across my face again, it was a slow thing and I stood up. "I promise, dying only hurts for a moment, and I will be quick." His features were arranged into one of the most chilling glares I'd ever seen. It sent shivers up my spine, I was surprised by how much I liked Abelas in that moment. "Your soul is your own Sorrow." 

His glare twisted into confusion at my words and I tapped the side of my nose again. Of course he wouldn't know what I was talking about. As far as I knew, no one that was like me had walked this world before. 

I gave him a coy smile as I lifted my hand, shouts rang out as lightning jumped from my fingers to his body. My chin tilted up as it struck him square in the chest. All that metal on his body amplified the electricity. 

His body shook as the current ran through him and when I released the magic he slumped over onto the floor and didn't move again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never fear! Chapter two should be up... soon? xD It's written, no worries, I'm not that heartless.
> 
> Well... I mean there was that long wait between the stories and then... I'm just gonna stop >.>


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning! Or... it technically is morning here where I am. 
> 
> This chapter went up a little late, sorry about that. I don't actually have a posting schedule but as long as I have a buffer I will _try_ to update once a week.
> 
> ["Text"]=Elvhen because I am not translating all of that. My brain gets confused trying to think in different languages.

Ms. Violet Eyes rushed over to Abelas and knelt beside him. "You killed him!" She shouted at me. 

"He volunteered." I wiped a hand across my arm, brushing away absolutely nothing as I affected an air of nonchalance. "As a leader he made the decision to save your lives, by giving his. Now, I need you to move." 

She stood, drawing her weapon and pointing it at me. "You have your revenge, Creature-" that one had a capital 'c' and it pleased me, "-take your children and leave." 

Smart woman, but I wouldn't be doing as she asked. I wiped a thumb across my chin and looked at her with little interest. "Move, or I will move you. There is very little time and  _ you _ standing there is going to impede what I desire to do." 

Her mouth opened and her stance widened. I sighed and rolled my eyes, hitting her with throw before she could speak again. One of my hands rose into the air and I pushed my barrier out farther so that Abelas would be encompassed in it with me. 

He was the reason I had come, that he'd given his life only made him more desirable. I crouched next to him and laid a hand against his chest. Those that were outside the barrier fired arrows and beat against the blue shield with their weapons. I smiled at them as I sent my consciousness into Abelas, searching for the damage I'd done. 

My magic found the internal wounds. One of the arteries that connected to his heart was ruined. I pressed my hand harder against his chest as I set to work to repair it. His lungs were a little singed and there was surface damage to nearly every major system. Perhaps I had been a tad too rough with the lightning. 

I winced as I finished healing his body. Leaning over I tilted up his jaw and with a thought fixed a different sort of shield over the two of us. It was smaller and those that beat against the biotic barrier lurched forward as it disappeared. The world fell away as I focused on him.

With a finger and my thumb I pinched his nose shut, my lips sealed against his and I pushed air into his lungs before I shifted position. I didn't think anyone here knew what CPR was. 

"Breathe Abelas." I whispered as I completed the second set of CPR. Worry shot through me and I dug my fingers into him, one hand over his chest, the other on his side. I hit him with a low dose of lightning. His body jerked up off the floor. I check for a pulse, nothing. 

"Damn it!" I whispered as I upped the amperage and hit him again. His body once more jerked up off the floor. And when I went to look for a pulse this time, I found one. It was faint though and I wasn't sure if he would cling to life. 

I sent my magic inside of him again, promoting blood flow and willing his heart to continue beating. As I did so I once more repaired any damage that I might have caused when his hand jerked up to close around my throat. 

His fingers squeezed, cutting off my air supply. I closed my eyes and lifted both of my hands. Panic threatened to spill over into me but I pushed it down. Panicking at this moment would do me no good. 

Blood rushed through my ears, barely I heard the awed whispers from the crowd that had gathered around us. I met Abelas' gaze as he attempted to pin me with a glare. 

It was impressive when he stood using nothing but the muscles in his legs, his grip on my throat never wavering. I managed a smile at him and I tapped gently on the fist that was wrapped around it. His eyes narrowed and he looked around. 

["She brought him back?"] Someone whispered and I pointed at them, beginning to feel the stress put on my body from lack of air. 

["How is that possible?"]

["She breached the veil for his soul."] 

Abelas looked around. He didn't look like he had any plans to release me. I would have sighed if I had the ability to do so. The seconds were slipping by and the edges of my vision were beginning to fade away. 

Lucky for me he was holding me in the air so my feet were dangling. I don't think I could have pulled it off otherwise. 

I slammed my booted foot into his groin. His eyes snapped open in surprise and he dropped me to grab his sensitive man bits. I hit the floor and backed up as my legs threatened to buckle under me, putting Abelas outside of my protective shield. Precious air slipped into my lungs and came out as a cough. 

"Was that utterly necessary?" I rasped as I glanced at him. The people around him shot me looks but no one lifted their weapons against me. I'd done something that they didn't know was possible. They had not grown up with death as a common thing, at least outside of battle. And I am guessing those with the know how to do what I did didn't wish to see those that they had killed returned to life. "I mean I like erotic asphyxiation as much as the next girl, but the grip man, it's all in the grip." 

He recovered quickly from his affliction. "Why?" He asked as he straightened, anger obvious in his tone. Disgust was on his face and it only made me smile. 

I straightened as I touched my throat, wincing at the pain that rose from that gentle probe. I wouldn't heal this bruise, I didn't know why but a part of me enjoyed it. I tilted my head at him, "Because it would be such a waste." My voice was still rough when I spoke. 

"What of your oath?" Someone asked, their voice gentler than before. I turned to search for the person who had asked it, careful to keep my shield up if someone decided I was a threat again. From the looks on the faces in the crowd the jury was still out on that one. 

"I swore to kill those who were responsible, not that they need to remain that way. Abelas took responsibility." I winked at the man who asked the question and turned back to Abelas, "And it would put a kink in my plans." 

Abelas looked at me with mistrust in his gaze. It was on everyone's face. If I was sensitive to that sort of thing, my feelings might have been hurt. 

"Plans?" Abelas asked. I had piqued his curiosity and I gave him a wide smile. 

"We should talk somewhere private." 

A chorus of worried statements rose up into the air and all I did was cock an eyebrow at Abelas. It was up to him now, would he listen to me or would I have to go elsewhere?

  
  
  
  


Abelas led me into the room where my children were. Someone sat with a hand over his chest and was glaring at the triplets. 

He must have touched Demitri. Sighing I walked over and when I reached out to touch the man he recoiled from me. My brows furrowed, "I need to read your soul. Thank you for that, by the way." All I needed was  _ another _ one inside of my son. My voice was cold when I spoke to him and I could feel the anger spilling off of Abelas behind me. 

I gripped the man's chin perhaps a tad too rough as I pulled him back to me. Taking a deep breath I sought out his soul and assessed the damage. There was not enough missing that it would kill him, but it was a near thing. I released his face and almost shoved him away from me. 

"You are lucky you broke contact with him when you did." I stood, "Your soul will recover, however I suggest you take it easy for a few days. It is a fragile construct." 

"Leave us." Abelas' tone was harsh and when I turned around he was still glaring at me, though he cast a side glance that was more wary of my children. I walked over to them, protective. They were more dangerous than I was in their untrained state. Somehow they had access to their full abilities and only the fact that they had grown inside of me kept me safe from their abilities. 

They had grown quiet when they saw me walk into the room. Carefully I touched each of them to ensure they were unharmed. 

Lily's wide gold eyes watched me and when I ran gentle fingers across her cheek she told me she was scared. My eyes softened. "I know, my little dove. I am sorry it happened." I knelt down and lifted her up into my arms. 

Her little hand released Gabriel's hand and she hid her face in my chest as I turned back to Abelas. 

He watched me and didn't say anything. I took that as an invitation to speak. I sighed and looked around the room before erecting another barrier over the entrances. I knew how good Elvhen hearing was and I didn't need anyone hearing what I had to say. 

If he noticed the strange magic I wielded he did not mention it. I wasn't certain if he could sense it or not as it did not originate in this world. Could they feel magic from other worlds?

"The short version is I need someone to watch the children while I stop the destruction threatening Thedas." I lifted a hand to cup the back of Lily's head. She let out a little noise and her hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt. She tugged twice on it and I knew she was hungry. 

I closed my eyes, this was going to be so difficult. One of my fingers swiped away a tear before it could fall. I looked at the wall as I collected myself. It hurt to even speak of it, and Lily knew what I had planned to do. I pursed my lips as she showed me her fear. They'd never been without me before. 

She was not the only one to understand what was happening, but they could not show me their fear the way that Lily could. I closed my eyes and gently lay my head against hers. 

"It will be alright," 

_ Momma _ . Her little voice broke as she whispered the word into my mind and I held her all the tighter. I rocked the both of us back and forth to comfort her. I wasn't sure I could do this, but I had to for her survival. 

Abelas was watching me closely and when I returned my gaze to his there was scorn on his face. "You claim them to be yours, but you would leave them at such a tender age."

"I have no choice in the matter." I glared up at him and set Lily down so that she couldn't read the entirety of my thoughts. She still needed physical contact for that, thank whatever divine creature that looked down on me. I waved a hand at the gold lines that covered nearly every inch of skin. There were areas that I couldn't check but I was almost positive that it covered me from head to toe. 

They were beautiful to look at, but I knew what they meant. Slave markings, and tied to them was a binding contract. It was etched into my soul, impossible to deny. 

I'd discovered who had made the deal for me when I'd been shoved through into Tamriel, and if I didn't do what she had promised it would cost me her life. Because an oath made by one of my kind was binding, and if not fulfilled it meant our death. 

And then I would burn every establishment to the ground. I could not watch her die; would not watch her die. 

Abelas' eyes were still cold. His vallaslin was different from the modern elves version. Just like mine they were slave markings, though they were still different from the traditional ones. His tattoos proclaimed that he was more of a servant, a bodyguard if you will, to his Goddess. Mine were actual slave markings. It rankled. 

"Why not deny him and walk away?" Abelas asked, confusion on his face. "Yes you would endure constant pain, but you are raising the first of the next generation.  _ Lanalin'or'Sael. _ " 

I blanched at the title he'd spoken. It was the only word that he spoke that wasn't coated in loathing. Translated it meant 'Mother of the First'. I resisted the urge to cup my face in my hands and settled for wiping them harshly against the halla-skin breeches I wore. 

From the wording of the title and the context I'd been given it was something given to the woman who gave birth to the first children of the next generation. That's exactly what I had done. It hadn't occurred to me that my children were the rebirth of a lost civilization. I worked my fingers against each other and pushed that thought away. That was the last thing I needed. Another title, another identity. 

I scratched the side of my chin and shook my head, "If I don't do this the generation will shrink." I looked at Lily again. She watched me with her intelligent eyes. 

Abelas' gaze had shifted when I looked back at him. He was watching my daughter as well, I could see the beginnings of understanding on his face but he didn't quite understand the full scope of my problem. All he knew was if I didn't do this Lily would die. I was not sure how much I was willing to share with him, but I was about to find out. 

"How will you stop the destruction of the world?" Abelas challenged, "It will not be destroyed for you, or for them." His fingers twitched in the direction of my children and my back stiffened without my say so. 

"No, but it will be destroyed for everyone else." 

"Fen'Harel will not tolerate anyone interfering with his plans." 

"He will tolerate me." It slipped out and I couldn't take it back. Abelas' gaze hardened. 

"Who are you to him?" He demanded and shifted forward. "You who carries the singing soul of his wife." 

I mouthed 'singing soul.' It was a weird phrase, and I could only assume it was a translation error. I watched Abelas closely, did I dare answer his question? Would he take the children if they belonged to his chaotic god? I knew of the relationship between Mythal and Dread Wolf. Knew that he had started off as a trusted slave/bodyguard and that he was the first to break from that role and was lifted up into the Evanuris. 

My gaze shifted down and to the side.  _ If _ he took the children he needed to know who would hunt him. If he found out later he might feel that I had lied--and he would be totally correct--and simply hand the children over. If I told him now and if he took the children it was possible there would be another outcome if Solas did stumble across Abelas. 

"Fuck it." I snapped out and looked Abelas square in the eyes. If he was surprised by my vulgar words he didn't show it. "The mother of his children." 

Abelas' eyes widened as he looked at my children with new eyes. "Goddess of Justice preserve us, what did we almost do?"

Oh  _ that _ shook him. Not the face that I'd brought him back from the dead nor everything else I was capable of. But suddenly he's reverent because my children were also the children of his precious Dread Wolf. 

"You would keep them from him?" Abelas looked almost angry now, though it was subtle and I wondered if being around Solas so often allowed me to see the small changes in Elvhen mood. Was it even a thing? Or was Abelas just not very expressive? What  _ that _ an Elvhen thing? 

"Not from him, per say." I shifted uncomfortably. I had no intention of keeping them from him forever, they were his children after all and I knew what that meant to him. "But from his enemies that would use them as a weapon." I don't know why I felt the need to justify myself to this man. 

"His enemies, as you so delicately put it, would die before looking at them." Abelas seemed so sure and I wondered if I underestimated Solas. But I would rather underestimate him than overestimate him when it came to the safety of our children. 

"The Qun is very dedicated to stopping his plans." I sniffed and looked at my children again, "I will not have them made into Saarebas simply because they contain magic." 

"You are very open in regards to your plans." Abelas' eyes shifted again and if I wasn't mistaken there was suspicion in his gaze. "Why tell me any of this?" 

"Because it is  _ you _ I want to watch the triplets. And I don't want you going in blind, that leads to mistakes and I will not tolerate mistakes when it comes to the three of them." 

I couldn't read his expression anymore, he closed his face off entirely. I patted my hands against my thighs and hoped that I hadn't just screwed the pooch. Well… I had a few different options. People I knew who would be willing to go into hiding to keep my children safe. I had a few real friends left that Solas might not look too closely at. 

Zevran might.  _ Might _ . Morrigan, maybe. She wasn't a friend but she'd get her jollies off keeping Fen'Harel's children from him. Did she drink from the well was the question though…. 

I tilted my head back and forth as I contemplated different options. Cole?

I mentally scratched his name off of the list, he was sweet and innocent and would strive to do his very best, but he was also Compassion and if he had  _ stayed _ Compassion I knew that it was likely he would tell Solas anyways. If he wasn't a spirit anymore but on his way to becoming human then… it was entirely possible I might be able to convince him to keep this secret, and he might not know how to get in touch with Solas, but it wasn't a risk I was willing to take. 

Varric was out as was Hawke, they'd be one of the first places that Solas would look for them if he found out I was here. Having saved Hawke from near certain death and her being a mother all on her own. Not to mention her reaction to my children. Humans fear the unknown. I twisted my lips as I thought of other people. 

"Why me?" Abelas asked, snapping me out of my internal monologue. I looked at him with a blank look. Why him what? 

"Oh," I shook a finger at him as I revisited our conversation and realized what he was talking about, "because you and I have no ties that he is aware of. As far as he knows I left this world before you two met again, before the Inquisition even came here." I wiggled both brows at him and smiled, "I thought it was clever." 

Solas had no idea that I wasn't still on Tamriel. We had a slight falling out before I'd left and he'd stopped visiting me in the Fade/Oblivion mash thing. He knew I had knowledge about other worlds, and knew things about the past, but when I'd been with him I had no foreknowledge of this world. 

Abelas was quiet for a moment and when he looked at my children there was a sort of tenderness. As if they were precious to his kind, which I realized they  _ were _ because they were the rebirth of his species as far as he knew. It wasn't something I had thought of. I hadn't considered he might dislike me either, I'm such a lovable person. 

I laughed at that and Abelas gave me a weird look. I lifted both brows and let out a little cough. 

Me? Likeable? Half the people I met wanted to kill me, the other half barely tolerated me. I was an acquired taste at best. And I was okay with that because  _ I _ liked me and the people I cared about liked me. That was all that mattered in the end. 

"There is an entire temple of Elvhen who are aware of the children and you yourself." 

"Ah," I held up a finger, "but they do not know who I am, nor who the children are. They have no idea they are tied to Fen'Harel." 

"It will not take many of them long to discover the link between you two." Abelas' voice was dry, "You do carry the soul of his dead mate inside of you." 

Mate? Not wife? Interesting…. I wasn't sure if I was fond of that term. 'Mate' implied something primal was involved. It was almost barbaric. My upper lip wrinkled at the thought, there was much that I didn't know about the Elvhenan empire simply because it was lost to history. 

"Well…" I lifted a shoulder, " _ if _ you do this, you won't be here for him to just walk in and take them." 

"Oh?" He lifted a brow in challenge and parts of me twisted at what that one word implied. I gave him a feral smile. 

"No one can know where you are, not even me." Lest I be taken by enemy forces alive. "I will not have information tortured out of anyone as to your whereabouts."

"You presume to think I would do this?" His tone was acid, "That I would betray a vengeful god? Hide his kin away from prying eyes? None would survive the reprisal." 

"Leave Fen'Harel to me." I flicked a hand in what I hoped was an unconcerned way. I knew how he would react if he found out I was here and didn't go to him. He would be hurt and then angry I stayed away. He would be  _ furious _ if he suspected the children had been born and I hadn't brought them to him. I knew his past, courtesy of Drynne. I knew how he suffered when she killed his children, how it had torn him apart to kill his 'mate.' I knew what the children meant to him and I knew he would be an amazing father. That wasn't the problem. My problem was that he was making enemies faster than I did and they stood between the children and him. 

"You believe you can take Fen'Harel?" Abelas laughed scornfully at me. I bristled at that. 

"I have before." I didn't mention it was before he'd gone full god mode, but I had. Twice, if I remembered correctly. The second time he used unfair tactics to flip the tables on me. Primarily he pinned me to the ground and my hormones got confused but he came out looking worse than I did so I tallied it as a win in my books. 

Abelas assessed me with new eyes and I stood brazenly before him. I knew what I looked like. I was five foot three on a good day, lucky to be a buck fifteen when I was soaking wet. I was a tiny little thing, but that didn't always show a person's true abilities. 

"Why would you stop Fen'Harel?" He changed the subject and I blinked at him, "Why not let him take down the veil? It would be a better environment for the children than growing up in this stunted world." 

I sighed and nodded, "I am aware that if they grow up in this environment it would be harmful to them, and I fully intend to see the veil taken down." I had to, for Lily to survive, "That is not where I take problems with his actions. I have a major problem, however, with  _ how _ he intends to go about it." 

Abelas gave me a curious look and lifted a brow, but I didn't know if I wanted to elaborate on that quite yet. It wasn't necessary to him, regardless. It was just important he knew that I had the same goals as Fen'Harel and it was the means I had issues with. 

"And if Fen'Harel learns that I have left the temple shortly after a mystery woman arrives with children in tow?" He cocked a brow, "He has spies everywhere, I would not be surprised if there are some within this temple. Nor if he has your description floating around as well, if he is determined as you think he is to have you back." 

This conversation was becoming more civil as it progressed. His face was more thoughtful as to the how of things than it was focused on disliking me. It was progress. I didn't need him to like me, I just needed him to like the children. And judging from that stupid title he gave me, Mother of the First, it was already working. 

"Honestly, I don't know if he'd telegraph a weakness like that. Letting people know there is a woman he is searching for?" I looked up at the ceiling in contemplation. Solas didn't--couldn't--know how much I've grown. There was no plausible way. He had no clue as to what I really was, nor the new powers that lay in my arsenal. For all he knew I was still the same biotic-wielding badass, get enough people and I could be overwhelmed. Granted I could still be overpowered as I was now.

I had threatened Bull into silence regarding my abilities early on, however there was no denying that the Qun would know about me now, considering my actions at Adamant.

Perhaps if someone here leaked the information then he would circle my appearance among his elite people, but not before. 

"It is possible that he might be willing to do that." I mused, "However it's not something I would see him doing. And the only thing I need to do to prevent that fear from coming to fruition is to have you leave here today,  _ if _ you decide to do it, that is." I smiled up at him, this time there was no malice in it. 

"And what, exactly, are your plans?" 

"Coexistence." I turned away from him and ran a finger down Gabriel's nose. The children were quiet and Lily had already dropped off into sleep. As I ran my finger over the same spot Gabriel's eyes slipped closed and he gave a little wiggle before they remained shut. Demitri however, continued to gaze at me defiantly. 

I scooped him up gently, careful not to ruffle Gabriel in the process. I didn't worry about Lily, she was out, despite her concern as to what was going to happen. 

Demitri patted my face and made happy gurgle noises. I brushed my lips across his forehead and turned back to Abelas who was still waiting for a more in depth explanation. 

"I agree that the veil needs to come down, however I don't agree with the destruction it will cause for the other races." Demitri tugged on my hair to get my attention and I turned my gaze to his, my voice going lovingly soft, "I will not stand by while he threatens genocide on the rest of the population. It is not an acceptable answer to his problem, yet he is blindly charging ahead, driven to fix a mistake with another one." 

"What can one person hope to achieve against an entire organization?" Abelas drawled, clearly still not a believer.

"I do not know." I answered simply, I had other plans in mind, I needed to make contact with Dorian in Tevinter for those, but it was possible my plan wouldn't work. "But if I don't at least try, I will never forgive myself." 

  
  
  


Abelas reluctantly agreed. From the way he behaved about the entire situation it was like I pinned him against the wall and threatened him with true death. He wanted to bring Ms. Violet Eyes, but I put my foot down  _ firmly _ that no one else be involved. It was bad enough that the entire temple knew he would be leaving. 

It was enough to be damning. But I was banking on Abelas remaining silent as to his whereabouts and that no one yet knew I was connected to their god. 

I think the only reason he agreed to watch the triplets is because if he didn't, I would pass them off to another. He was concerned with their well-being and I found it touching that someone who didn't know them felt the same way I did. He reminded me that they were the hope for our species. I didn't point out to him that I was not Elvhen, though I did contain the soul of one. I was so many things all at once, I couldn't quite lay claim to any one species, other than that of my birth. And I was not born a human. 

As soon as I picked up Lily, she knew. And she made her displeasure known. While much of the spoken language was still beyond my little eight-month-old-looking-children-who-were-actually-closer-to-a-decade-old Lily's grasp of the mind was better than many full grown adults. It came with her constant contact to those older than her. She learned and watched, and then she shared with her siblings. 

All of my children had a keen intelligence. When they grew older it would be difficult for me to keep up with them. 

Abelas and I left the temple through a hidden Eluvian. One that only they knew of, it was through a secret chamber in the lower levels. There were no murals down here and I suspected that the Eluvian was pulled from another location due to the fact that theirs had been destroyed by the remnants of the Well of Sorrows. 

"There are things you need to be made aware of, in regards to the children. And… this might be a deal breaker for you, however I needed to be sure no one else would over hear, nor be told of their abilities." I hefted Demitri on my hip and looked down at him. 

Abelas was hesitant but he did not flee from me screaming 'Mad Woman!' so I was hopeful. I pushed on. 

"My children are more than Elvhen." I took a breath and looked around making sure the pathways were clear of others, that no one could listen in on what I was about to reveal. "They are half their father, half me. And as such they have extra gifts. At least the younger two do." Gabriel had yet to express any ability that was deadly to those he didn't trust. I had been surprised that none of them died when taking the children. It was through sheer luck that they grabbed the baskets and not the children themselves. 

I took another steadying breath and forced myself to talk, it was hard, exposing my children after years of tight-lipped silence. "Lily," I brushed a finger across Demitri's cheek, "has strong telepathy, she can communicate through touch and I suspect it will grow as she does. She can read your mind, implant ideas, and even shred it to tatters if she so desires. She is also very fond of fire." 

Abelas looked at me blandly, clearly not believing me. Seeing is believing is a saying for a reason. I ignored the look and continued. 

"Demitri is all me." I looked at him, my little carbon copy. It used to be a joke, until I realized how far the 'copy' went. "Without proper protection he will consume your soul, leaving nothing behind, and everything that that person is will forever be a part of him, merged into his consciousness because he does not have full grasp of his powers yet. He cannot keep the souls separate from each other, cannot yet wall them off." I gave Abelas a very serious look, "I know because my son used to be more carefree, and then he devoured a soul. Now he is stoic and watches you with eyes older than one his age could never possess." 

Abelas' eyes widened and I am assuming he remembered the brief--confusing--conversation I had with one of his subordinates back at the temple. 

"What is the proper protection from this?" He asked cautiously. I didn't answer right away. It was something that I didn't think I'd ever need to do, and faced with the reality of the situation, having it come to fruition, was something I didn't want to do. 

"A gift, or a curse, depending on how you wish to look at it." I knew I was being cryptic but how on earth else was I supposed to go about it? "In essence I take a piece of my soul, of my  _ original _ soul and give it to you. Weave it into your own so that you become a part of me. That is the only thing I have found to keep him from killing individuals, I suspect that it makes you important in Demitri's eyes. I am not eager to explore other options." 

"If they do not work, he has another soul inside of him." Abelas concluded. 

"Yes, and one additional soul is too much for one his age, yet it is something I cannot change." I looked at Abelas and the suspicion that I thought was fading was back full force. 

"How will it affect me?" Abelas asked bluntly and I appreciated him taking this matter seriously. 

"All of the side effects are unknown at this point in time." I answered honestly, "The one other I tried it with was killed during a battle, however she did express that she could feel a ghost of my pain. As the souls are on the same wavelength it does not surprise me." 

"Is it reversible?" I didn't blame him for asking that question. 

"Another thing I am unsure of. When… she died I did not have the ability to reach her to try and save the soul." 

"Will I consume souls as well?" 

"She did not have that problem," I shook my head, "that was one of the things we tested extensively." 

"How many souls have you consumed?" 

"Too many." I looked away from him, "I do not enjoy having other souls floating around inside of my consciousness." There was no better way to put it. Unless I took the time to sort through them, delve into their mind and learn everything about them, or worse, shred their souls as I did to Drynne, I could not absorb them into me. It was not something I enjoyed, but I was still able to tap into their abilities. Drynne had changed me, as had Nitana, and I did not want to see how absorbing so many souls would affect me. 

For lack of a better description it was like there were multiple personalities floating around in my mind. I could tap into them, use them, but they were separate from my main person. I learned with Drynne how to keep them separate, or she was the beginning to that understanding. I perfected it when I absorbed another. Now they all but floated in a collective, angry at me for what I had done. 

I couldn't blame them. 

I also couldn't meet Abelas' gaze. 

"What does the process entail?" He asked, and I didn't know if he was actually considering it or just gathering information about me to sell to Solas. I tapped my foot against the ground and wondered how long it had been since I became this mistrustful. 

"Nothing from you, other than physical contact with me. Marika expressed no pain nor anything along those lines when I did this with her." 

"Will I be subject to your will?" Abelas asked carefully and I shot him a look, surprised. 

"No, once I give you the piece of me it becomes part of you. There is no… master/servant relationship involved. I could not control Marika through commands, and if I had tried she would have run me through." I scuffed a foot across the ground and put Demitri back into his basket. All three of them were on the ground and Lily was resolutely refusing to look at me. She hadn't had a chance to share with Demitri nor Gabriel yet so both of them babbled happily at me and among each other. 

"Is there anything else I need to know?" His voice was testy and I wouldn't blame him if he decided that he no longer wanted to do this. 

I shook my head, "There should be no change in you, at all, save for the ability to feel minute amounts of my pain. That should not last long because I am not fond of it and work actively to heal anything that hurts. It should not influence your mind, your behavior, nor your habits. You, as far as I am aware, will remain the same crabby elf that you are now." 

I got a glare for my words but couldn't find the energy to care. 

"And if I do not do this?" 

"You cannot touch my son." I lifted my chin up to the sky. It was different here in the pathways. I couldn't place my finger on  _ how _ exactly, simply that it was. I didn't know if the sky was bluer or if it was because it appeared to be a construct. "Or else you will lose yourself, and I will lose my children to starvation because only you will know where they are." 

He frowned. "And you are comfortable giving an intimate part of yourself to a virtual stranger." 

"No." I bit out the word, "I am not comfortable ripping chunks of my soul out to share with people, be they lovers or friends or strangers." I glared at him, "My soul is  _ my _ soul. I do this for my son and for your sake, not because I get my jollies off by doing so." 

He had the consideration to look--slightly--abashed by his question. "If I do not do this, you will give them to someone else." 

I nodded in agreement, "yes, I cannot allow you to take my children, I will find another who will be willing to carry a small portion of myself within them." 

At this point I was done playing around. I had traveled weeks out of my way for this to happen and if he has reservations it was his right, but if he wasn't going to do this I would have to track down someone else, and I had no idea where any of those that I trusted were at the moment would would mean  _ another _ trip back to Inquisition headquarters before traipsing off in search of my target and then stumbling across Solas' camp somehow, because none of the texts explain  _ where _ he is, only that it is somewhere, probably in Tevinter. 

All of this would probably take another month and I knew the Exalted Council meeting was looming ever closer and I had an actual time table. I blinked and exhaled, giving Abelas a wide eyed irritated look. 

"I understand if you don't want to do this, it's new, it's scary, it's unheard of. But it is something that is necessary or I wouldn't push." I tilted my head and made myself be gentler. "It is okay for you to say no, you are not obligated, I will not truss you up like a turkey dinner and leave you in the wild somewhere." 

"How very kind of you." He mocked and I resisted the urge to flip him off. I wasn't entirely sure the gesture carried over here. "Very well." His voice sounded pained, "Do what you must." His eyes were on the children. 

"For future generations." I intoned. Duty, it was such an ugly thing at times.

He gave a tight nod in response to my words and I heaved a sigh. I sent my mind inward, looking for the scarlet red that was my soul. I was careful not to delve into the collective inside of me, not to be distracted by their voices. No, I sought me, I sought Emily before she had been twisted by Nitana, and further changed by Drynne. 

I looked for the passionate part of me, the lover inside of me, the determined part of me. Because under it all that was who I really was. That was my origin. I was at war with it, not wanting it to be true, but that was the other two souls speaking out to me. 

I was soft, kind, gentle. Yet under those attributes there was a hidden strength. Emily could endure almost anything, She was a survivor and it had taken me a long time to see it. Emily had-- _ I  _ had--been driven to desperation to escape a situation that no one should be subjected to. 

And I had survived it, against all odds. And I would continue to survive it. It was written into my very DNA. 

That was what I looked for, the essential part of me, the very core. And when the brilliant scarlet color encompassed my mind I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. 

Gingerly I reached for it, whispering apology after apology as I touched it, prepared for the pain of being separated from it but still not desiring to do it. My soul throbbed in anticipation, having lived this once before. I pulled at it, trying to do so gently and get it over with at the same time. Before, I had carelessly yanked at it, and it had taken months for the tattered edges of my soul to heal. 

I could not let that happen this time, no I needed to be as clear-headed as I was able to be. I couldn't allow for another bout of depression to sink over me, I could not wallow in my despair, crying for the lost piece of me. 

Softly I sang to it as I plucked at the ties that held the piece that I had selected to the rest of it. As each tether was destroyed a pang of pain snapped through me, until a small piece rested in my imaginative hand. 

And when I opened my eyes Abelas was watching me. His own eyes were wide and I felt the starchy lines that my tears had left behind. I blinked and let out a slow breath. 

In my actual hand was a bright glowing orb. I looked up at him, hoping that he hadn't changed his mind, hoping that he would still accept it. I had made myself vulnerable to him, allowed him to see a part of me--even if he did not realize it--that very few others had seen. 

My fist was tight around it, afraid that it would escape and be lost forever. Afraid that I would have to repeat the process. Already I felt it's loss despite that I still clung to it like a lifeline. 

I gestured to him, asking him to come closer. There was a tinge of fear in his eyes as he regarded me. The part that I had so recently exposed shriveled at the idea that  _ anyone _ could be afraid of me. Of my soul. 

His step was hesitant and I longed to move toward him, to get this over with. Fear of rejection kept me rooted to where I was. It was a long agonizing moment before he stood within easy reach. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He had already said yes, I just needed to complete it. I forced myself to move, to reach for him. Abelas stood still, his eyes tracking the movement of my hand that was clenched around my soul. It glowed like a mini sun, and looking at it for too long hurt the eyes. 

It was warm in my hand, and it fluttered in time with my heart. 

I jumped when I made contact with Abelas and his hand shot out to steady me. It had the opposite effect. It unnerved me. But I composed myself and once the side of my fist rested against his chest I closed my eyes and sent my awareness into his, seeking the glow inside of him. 

A beautiful blue greeted me and it was something that I hadn't expected from him. Blue indicated that he was loyal, creative, kind. It also told me he was moody, which was something that I expected. Because so brood. 

Carefully I opened the palm of my hand that rested over his heart, pushing my hand flat against his as I mentally grabbed the portion of my soul. In my mind's eye it floated next to his, small and scared in comparison. 

Tentatively I laid it over his, plucking oh so gently against his soul to weave the two different souls together. I didn't want to cause him any discomfort. When I was done the edges of my red bled into his blue, creating a beautiful purple where the two touched. 

I took a step back from him, withdrawing quickly and scrubbing a hand over my face to erase the trails that my tears had left. My throat felt raw, as if I'd been sobbing out loud. 

I couldn't look at him. "It is finished." The words were hard to get out but I managed to do it without my voice cracking. 

There was a rustling behind me and with me calling upon my origin I nearly skittered sideways but settled for looking at him. He rubbed a hand over the spot I had touched and looked at me with an emotion I couldn't decipher. 

"Are… are you alright?" I asked cautiously. I wasn't sure if I had done it wrong. But I did exactly what I had done with Marika. It had been easier with her because we were friends at the time, and I didn't know what to expect when it came to feelings. 

"I…" he looked at a loss for words and when he finally looked away from me I breathed a sigh of relief. "I am able to touch him now?" 

"You are able to, yes." I did not add the  _ should _ into that sentence. I'd only done this once before, and Marika had been with me for longer than Abelas had. 

But when the stoic elvhen picked up my stoic son nothing happened. Abelas stood and gazed at the small infant that could rest easily in the palm of one of his hands. 

"Good," I quipped, eager to put that part of me away. It was too trusting and kind for what I needed to do. Who I needed to be to survive with minimal damage. Emily may have been my starting line, but she was not where I finished. "We should get moving. Solas' people are crawling all over this place, according to my information." 

Abelas didn't say anything as, between the two of us, we picked up my children and continued onward. 

  
  
  


I don't know how long we were in the pathways, but it was for more than twenty four hours for sure. Either that or time moved slower in them, which I didn't think was the case. 

When I stepped through the Eluvian, following Abelas and my two boys, the sun was lower than it had been, but I knew more time had passed than a few hours. We walked into another ancient ruin, the weather was colder than I expected. I didn't know where we were and it was better that way. I didn't ask questions. 

As we walked I had gone over the different needs, the wants and dislikes of each child. Detailing how to change a diaper, and to be careful with the pins because you could stab them with it. My explanation had seemed like it would never end but he interrupted me. 

_ I have cared for infants before _ , was all he had said in response and that had been that. He knew how to forage for food, knew what to feed them, how to bathe them, how to rock them to sleep. 

It made me wonder what kind of life he'd lived before the veil had come down. If he too had a family or loved ones that hadn't made it through the wars that their gods had waged against each other. 

Not enough to ask though. I would not be the reason that old wounds were laid bare before a stranger. 

"You cannot stay here." I indicated to the area around me, "I know the location of the Eluvian through the pathway-"

"Hush, woman." He looked like he was about to sigh but I didn't think he  _ ever _ sighed and instead it came out as a huff. "I have no intent of remaining in this area. I will travel elsewhere and set up fortifications to ensure the survival of the next generation." 

"Remember that Lily-"

"Yes, you have told me." 

"And-" 

"Luna." He set the boys down on the ground and took Lily's basket from me. She was nestled inside. "You have told me everything. Twice." His tone held a false edge to it and I suspected he was faking patience. 

I wiped a hand across my eyes. "I know. I just…" I threw my hand out. "I've had them for eight years, Abelas. Eight years and not once have they been gone from me for longer than a few hours." 

"It is difficult for a mother to leave her children the first time," Abelas said softly. "It is a primal instinct, one to ensure their survival." 

I nodded, knowing all of this. 

"I need to say goodbye." I whispered as I moved around him. I sat on the ground next to them, my knees pulled up. I lifted Gabriel first, laying him on my raised lap. It took some maneuvering but I got all three of them in my arms. Lily ended up in the middle so she could share with her brothers. 

"I have to leave, my little doves." I whispered. Lily began to cry, shortly followed by her brothers. "I know it isn't fair." I rocked my whole body back and forth. "Nothing about anything you've had to endure is fair." 

I listened to Lily as she pulled their concerns to the fore.

"No, my sweet, it will not be forever." My voice grew harsh and from my mind she knew that it was not directed at her. "I would never do that. I will always come for you, never doubt that." My voice cracked and I paused while I worked through it. "I will be with you when we dream." It was a whisper but it need not be loud. 

They were still crying, though it had faded. And I sang the song that my grandmama had always sung to me when I was little, my voice breaking on the different words, and I reduced myself to humming about sixty percent of the song. 

  
  
  


It was hard to leave, in the end. I slept next to them through the night and crept away before dawn. Only Gabriel woke to my movement. His beautiful cerulean eyes tracking me as I tip-toed away from him. 

When he made a noise and I realized he was awake, I crept back and placed a kiss on his brow. "It isn't forever, I  _ will _ see you again." 

I quickly and carefully untangled his hand from my hair before I got up and resolutely walked away. I heard his cries as I shuffled slowly and I felt a small part of myself shatter, the broken pieces scattered around me. My hand came up to press back the sob that threatened to escape me. There was no muffling the noise. It came out regardless; a wretched ugly sound. My steps faltered for a moment, heartstrings tugging me in the other direction. 

It wasn't fair, this life I lived. 

But this was the hand I had been given. I had to press forward, ever forward. It was for them I did this. It was for their father I did this. It was for me I did this. 

My children deserved their father in their life, even if he didn't want to be part of  _ my _ life. And he couldn't be with them if he was dead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't leave Abelas dead ya'll xD 
> 
> Soft spot for that grumpy elf.


	3. Failed Subterfuge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, this was supposed to go up weeks ago but... life. 
> 
> Enjoy!

I walked the pathways until I was well and truly lost. It didn't take long. I had grown up and thrived in cities. Thanks to Stefan I could find my way through a forest; this, however, was neither. 

It had been a long time since I had thought of my Warden. He had been the first contact I’d had in Thedas and I thought of him fondly. He had died with the last Divine. I knew how the Wardens were connected to everything now. 

Anger sliced through me that I hadn't been there for Corypheus’s destruction. It was a new development, something I had learned while I was on Earth researching Thedas and the events that had come and gone with the slow passage of time. 

Ellana had done well, and I learned that while a few things had been changed due to my presence, it was not far off from what had happened within the original timeline. Or the game reflected my actions and I was not featured in it because I was not originally from this plane of existence. 

It mattered little now, though. 

When my feet ached and I could no longer walk I sat down under a tree. I stilled, willing myself to look like I was asleep. Signs of activity had become more frequent. 

There were eyes out there watching me. I had changed my face, adopted a different look. Emily could not be used; Solas knew Emily. He had seen her more than once when he had pulled me from my nightmares. Seeing her face on an elf would be damning. 

No, I had pulled an assorted glamor together. My skin no longer resembled ice, instead was a darker hue, a lovely golden tawny color, face framed by long curly black hair. My steep cupid's bow was nearly non-existent, and my eyes would appear ebony in the dim light, but when hit by the sun's rays they were a lovely brown. 

After a time of just being watched, I let myself tip sideways and stretch out on the ground, shifting until I was comfortable once more. 

Someone would approach me. I was not supposed to be in the pathways. I had a story ready and lies of omission in place. 

  
  
  
  


I had actually fallen asleep before someone approached me. Their footsteps stirred the paranoid part of me and I jerked up into a sitting position. There was no need to fake the fear on my face. 

When I dreamed, old memories surfaced. Those of pain and terror clawed at my slumbering mind more often than not. So it was with a racing heart that I looked at the small group of individuals who stood before me. It was a mixed group, one elvhen and two Dalish looked down at me. More than one had a sneer on their face. 

The only one who seemed to control how they felt about my presence was the one who stood at the front. I eyed the others behind her, both of them with bows trained on me. I was really hoping they weren't planning on loosing those arrows. They looked very sharp and pointy and I was okay with them not being in my body. 

"Oh! Finally." I smiled up at them and when I went to rise one of the ones in the back shifted, the bow creaking slightly as he pulled farther back on the string. I halted my motions and lowered myself back to the ground, hands rising up into the air. 

"How did you get here?" The woman in front asked. Her eyes were piercing and she had no vallaslin on her face. Her build was sturdier than the other two. I eyed her carefully, wondering if her bones were denser and if she had grown up in a world where magic was thick in the air. Parts of me wanted to take her, to add her to my little collective. It was a part that I denied frequently. 

I licked my lips and tilted past her to look at the other two. "Am I in some sort of trouble?" Neither of their faces shifted and some part of me was a little proud that they didn't answer my question. 

Why was I approving of anything about Fen'Harel's secret organization? I shook it from my thoughts and returned to the woman in front of me. She had repeated her question and took a menacing half step forward. Her hand, which had hung idly at her side, was now on the hilt of a sword strapped to her waist. 

Alright then.

I tilted my chin up and watched her for a moment. "I got here through an open Eluvian, how else would one arrive in a place like this?" I cocked a brow at her and her eyes narrowed. 

"Bring her." 

  
  
  


I found myself in shackles once again, the chain to my bindings resting easily in the hand of my captor. It was a common theme here in Thedas apparently. The elvhen woman walked in front of me, the bow on her back looking well used and the smell of oil drifting faintly back to me. I kept my head down for the most part, hair covering the majority of my face. 

The other two walked behind me, their bows no longer taut and threatening. They were still out, arrows nocked and ready if I tried to bolt. I was exactly where I wanted to be and there was no reason to run from here. 

The three of them moved with a purpose and I followed suit. Our path was winding. Many of the eluvians were broken, their surfaces black and dull. I could taste the enchantment of others when we passed by them; it was intriguing that I didn't need to be tapped into the native magic. 

We walked for a long time, and I ignored the ache in my feet. I didn't think they'd stop simply because I got blisters. My shoes were ill fitted, but that's what happens when you steal them instead of having them handcrafted for you. 

The woman halted so quickly I almost ran into her; backpedaling to keep myself from doing so nearly sent me crashing to the ground. I watched her closely as she looked around, the tips of her ears twitching as she listened to the world around us. 

With each inhale I took in every scent around me, around us and beyond our little group. There were others out there. Their smell was spicy and full of musk. Closing my eyes I searched for any trace scent I might have picked up from the other races and couldn't quite place it. 

Something soared through the air and the elvhen woman shoved me away from her. Unprepared for it, I was flung five feet before I crashed into the ground and rolled for another six. I pushed to my feet, awkward with bound hands, and looked at where I had been. 

In the spot I had been standing there was a giant spear. Eyes wide, I looked in the direction it had come from. Six Qunari walked slowly toward us, five men and one woman. One of them was chained like me, but it was far worse. 

Saarebas. 

Magic fluttered around the tips of his fingers, giving us virtually no time before fire began to rain down on us. 

"Move!" my elvhen savior shouted. She didn't need to tell me twice. 

I dashed to the side, running for cover behind one of the broken eluvians. The familiar twang of bows sounded in the air as my captors fought back. They were outnumbered, and from the looks of the five Qunari, they were outgunned. 

Curses slipped from me as one of them broke off and came for me. 

"Enemies of Fen'Harel need not hide!" He shouted at me. My eyebrows popped up and I laughed. Enemy? Me? 

Slowly I stood and walked around the edge of the eluvian. A smile crept across my lips, head tilted slightly as I regarded the man. He stood at the ready, weapon drawn, in fighting stance. He wasn't entirely sure I was what he claimed me to be. 

His hair was bound back into a low cue. On his back was a bag full of those spears that had nearly impaled me. He was dressed in traditional Qunari fashion, chest bare except for 'bindings' as Krem would have called it. 

A quick glance to the side told me that the Saarebas and his handler were facing off with the elvhen woman. The other two elves were firing from behind cover. Two of the qunari had arrows stuck in them but they still advanced. I nodded as I remembered what The Iron Bull was capable of. He was formidable, and his species was no less than him. 

"Can I share a secret with you?" I whispered as I stepped forward, looking him straight in the eyes. The Qunari's eyes narrowed and his nose fluttered as he took in my scent. We were all a little beast-like here. 

"Do you have information about the Dread Wolf?" He looked hesitant. It was a logical leap. The two factions obviously knew each other. The Qunari female was shouting orders, demanding surrender. I flicked my gaze to her and at the anger in her voice. 

I laughed at him, "Yes, I do." I'd been walking forward all this time, hands relaxed in front of me, chain dragging on the ground behind me. My fingers worked quietly and quickly to wind the metal around them. The man shifted and his gaze flicked down to the small motion. 

The elvhen woman was shouting something but I wasn't paying attention. 

The man looked around and took a single step forward, "What is the secret?" His gaze was mistrustful but I also smelled the faint scent of hope. 

I chuckled at him, nearly in range. I stopped and he took another few steps forward before coming to a halt. "My identity. I'm sure you've heard of it." I looked over at the Elvhen woman. She wasn't paying attention to me, but fighting off the attack. My attention turned back to the Qunari in front of me and I tilted my head down to the ground. "Or rather, it's a title given to me by the Chantry." When I looked up I could see that he was torn between humoring me because I might actually be worthwhile and just killing me. 

"We care little about titles from other nations." He lifted his weapon and took a step forward. I saw the decision in his eyes to kill me the instant his conflict was over. 

"Shame, the Arishok would probably want the Anointed of the Inquisition." He froze for a split second. The indecision was back, but it wavered and disappeared almost too quickly for me to follow. 

"She died at Adamant." There was a sneer on his face and he lifted his weapon further. The choice was written on his face, I was not worth the time. In his eyes I was a liar. I smiled and lifted my hands. 

"I survived." I burst into action, flinging the chain free from my hand. Sparks burst to life as metal met metal. 

Twisting, I kept the chain in motion, striking at every opportunity. He closed the distance between us, his axe whistling through the air. I danced between his swings, faster than he was. 

Together we moved as all do in the struggle for life and death. The only thing was that now that I had told him, he had to die. Telling him had been a foolish, vain thing to do and yet I did not wish that I had kept my mouth shut. 

I waited for him to make a mistake. And it didn't take long. There was no anger in his movements; emotions colored his smell. I did not even know if he was aware of it. The Qunari prided themselves on control. But everyone has emotions. It was just a matter of annoying them to that point. 

Part of me was willing to bet that frustration was growing inside of him, because he couldn't catch me. 

I caught him off guard, the chain wrapping around the handle of the axe. My legs carried me forward, hands taking in the slack to keep the chain tight. He smiled in victory as I got inside his range, convinced that I couldn't get away from him. 

I dropped onto my side, like a baseball player sliding into home. I shot between his legs, quickly giving the chain more room. My feet scrambled to get under me and I pulled, putting all of my strength behind it. 

The handle of his axe shot down and instead of letting it go, which would potentially cause damage to him, he held onto it. I gave another mighty yank on my chain and he flipped. The wind was knocked out of him and he struggled to rise despite it. 

I stood over him already and my boot connected to his face several times until he released his grip on the weapon. With the tip of my foot I lifted it into the air, catching it and using the building momentum to swing it down at him. 

He saw it coming. Perhaps he had known when I had flipped him, but he yelled something in his language a split second before the axe fell. I spun to look at the others. 

The female Qunari was watching me. Shit. What had he said? 

Her entire body was facing me now and she shouted something in their native tongue. Two of the remaining four peeled off to face me. The Saarebas handler was down and someone else picked up the control rod. Luckily for me those two were still dealing with the elves. 

Unluckily for me, the elvhen had seen the exchange. Our eyes locked for a single moment before she was forced back into her battle. Now I wished I'd kept my mouth shut. It was too late to take it back though. 

I tipped my head to the side and watched as the female Qunari pulled a spear out of the ground. She took a running start and chucked it in my direction. It soared through the air and at the last second I dropped to my knees, hands held aloft. The tip of the javelin snapped one of my manacles, leaving a long gash across my palm that freely wept blood.

A cry of pain escaped my lips and when I looked at the wound I could see muscle and sinew. I sent a silent apology to Abelas, hoping that the distance between us would prevent him from feeling the pain. It was untested, as Marika hadn't been separated from me after the soul bonding.

The Qunari that had, presumably, been ordered to take me down walked in my direction.  _ Walked _ . They were so confident. 

I lifted a portion of my shirt to my teeth ripping the bottom section off. Quickly I bound the wound, making it tighter than was strictly necessary. I pulled the axe out of the dead Qunari's head. I didn't wait for them to come to me. 

The axe dragged across the ground as I walked forward. It was too large for me and walking with it in my hands would have been awkward. Plus the added pressure against the wound would be agonizing. 

As I moved toward them I wrapped the chain around my other hand. I tipped my head to either side, cracking it to release the building tension. 

When we were within twenty feet of each other, one of them broke into a run, his sword singing through the air. My body bent backwards, the edge of the blade whistling just over the peaks of my breasts. 

Using that momentum I lifted a foot and spun so my back was to them, turning fluidly and lifting the axe. It sunk deep into his shoulder and I left it there. The sword fell from his grip, his muscles no longer capable of holding it. Tiredly, I picked it up while dodging to the side to avoid the swing of a polearm from the second man. Twisting, I slammed the edge of my pilfered sword into the neck of the downed Qunari. 

The woman wasn't far behind, her eyes watching my little fight. I was going to have to kill her too. Already I ached, and the bruise on my side from that awesome slide would be magnificent. 

Male number two stepped up, more wary of me than the first had been. He was going to be harder to take down because of it, and because the weapon was overly large for someone of my height to wield with one hand. I let out a huff of air, shooting the strand of hair out of my face. 

"Well?" I half snapped, "You just gonna stand there or what?" 

He was faster than the other two males. I leaned back and forth, feet constantly shuffling under me as I parried and dodged his attacks. I could feel the edge of my stamina drawing closer. The need to save some for the woman pushed me to end this as soon as possible. 

Male number three broke through my guard, the tip of his polearm leaving a deep cut along the meat between my neck and shoulder. Only tilting my entire person to the side kept it from sliding cleanly through my neck. 

I was tired. But it gave me my opening. 

Stepping into the blow, making it worse, I ran my blade deep into his gut and twisted the handle before ducking and pulling it out. My eyes averted from the gore that spilled from him. Some part of me still had an aversion to it. I stepped to the side as he tilted forward and fell past me. 

The female Qunari watched me with cautious eyes. A glance behind her showed that both of the remaining two were down. The Saarebas' control rod had been snapped in half and the female Elvhen stood over him. 

Ms. Qunari fled, her long legs carrying her quickly away from us. 

" _ Shit _ ." I dropped the sword and ran for one of the elves that was just now coming out of his cover. I wanted his bow, and I was going to get it. I body slammed him, wrestling the weapon away from him in a tangle of limbs, getting a little more personal than I liked. 

Adrenaline rushed through me as I stood, I ripped a few arrows from his quiver and stuck them tip down into the ground under my feet. A whine of pain slipped out of me as the wound on my hand throbbed from the pressure the bow put on it. I tried twice, body protesting harshly when I put the stress of the bow on it. 

The arrow missed entirely. I caught a glimpse of her before she disappeared through a rippling mirror. It closed seconds after she ran through it. 

_ Fuck _ . 

I don't know what hit me but it connected with my back and I lurched forward, dropping the bow in the process. I slammed into the ground and skidded forward a couple feet. "That hurt," I mumbled from my position, apprising the new wounds on my person. Abelas was going to be  _ pissed _ if he could feel all of this. 

"Who are you?" the female demanded as I rolled over, my hand flung to the side so I lay in a spread eagle fashion. 

"Renna," I rasped. A name that belonged to a different face I'd worn. 

"Why did the Qunari focus on you?" She walked over, the tip of her sword resting on the spot between my breasts. 

I had my suspicions, but nothing concrete. "I don't know." The chain was cold against my exposed stomach. The tip of her sword dug a little into my flesh and I waited to see if she would kill me. 

Her eyes darted to the ruined manicle before switching to the wound on my shoulder. "You are bleeding." She stepped back and sheathed her weapon. "Alan, your pack." 

One of the males--the one I'd tackled--stepped forward, bag dangling from his hand. She ruffled through it for a moment before coming out with a flask and several strips of cloth. Was he a medic?

She pushed me into a sitting position. The pop of the cork was audible and it was only a second later before I let out a strangled sound. The flask did not have water in it. It burned as she poured it over the wound on my shoulder. She folded up one of the cloths before pressing it down against my skin, hard. I gasped and she muttered something akin to 'baby' in her language. 

The woman was very good at field dressing and it made me think that she'd been involved in wars before. She was quick and efficient, detached, even, as she bound my wound. 

Her eyes took in the dirt along my side and when I followed her gaze I realized that I had the equivalent of road rash along my ribs. My shirt was nearly in tatters. "Trouble breathing?" 

"No." I looked away from her and gave Alan a smile. He glared at me while stuffing his stolen arrows back in his quiver. There would be no love lost between the two of us. 

As she finished dressing my wounds the woman backed away, issuing an order. "Get up." She didn't give me the opportunity to do so on my own. Instead, she gripped my arm and pulled me to my feet. She had a length of rope in her hands, where she had gotten it I don't know. Maybe that bag was a Merry Poppins bag. 

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Really? We're back to me being a prisoner?" 

She didn't answer me as she yanked both of my hands forward and bound them together again. She spun me around. A cloth went over my eyes and she tied it tight. I sighed dramatically. 

"Walk," she ordered again, shoving me forward when I didn't start fast enough for her. 

Lovely. All of this was lovely. 

Once more I sent a silent apology to Abelas as I continued to carefully pick my way forward lest I get another boot in my back. 

  
  
  


I don't know how long we walked, but my battered body did not appreciate it. At one point the woman threatened me with having Lorsan--the male I had not tackled--carry me. I snapped something childish in her direction and kept shuffling forward. I had saved their butts--no I hadn't--and here I was walking blindfolded and bound. At least I wasn't gagged. 

Small victories. 

Someone’s hand reached out, causing me to jump, and pulled me to a halt. Magic settled over me and my sense of hearing was gone. I jerked in their grasp, struggling to get free. Devoid of sight and sound, panic began to set in. 

My mouth moved but I heard nothing. I knew I was screaming obscenities, but they fell silently on my deaf ears. Hands shoved me forward and I felt the ripple of magic kiss my skin and the air that touched my flesh shifted. It was no longer cold, but humid and sticky. 

I flailed, kicking out, still screaming. Someone grabbed my other arm and together they lifted me off the ground. I thrashed wildly back and forth, desperation flooding me. Something brushed my cheek and I twisted, snapping my teeth at it. They sank deep and I tasted blood. A fist connected to the side of my face and I hung there, limp and dazed. 

An oily cloth was shoved into my mouth and I actively worked to spit it out, but was too late. A strip of leather bit into the soft flesh around my lips and I felt my hair pull as it too was tied off behind my head. 

Air shifted my hair against my bare shoulder, and fresh blood trickled down my back. They were carrying me somewhere. I renewed my efforts, swinging my feet to the side. 

I connected to something that was covered in armor. My left side lurched as it gave way and the forward movement stopped. Two hands grabbed each of my legs and I jerked my entire body forward and backwards, trying to free myself. 

This wasn't what I had imagined when I had pictured infiltrating his operation. I had seen myself coming across someone in the pathways, dropping his name, and asking if I could join. Anything but this. I was furious at my situation, and when they shoved my legs together I bowed backward and then snapped my head forward, looking to headbutt someone. 

I'd been taken before, in Orlais. I'd been held captive against my will, tortured until I had broken and given Drynne the reins to our body. Only fear of exposure kept me from lashing out with my abilities now. Kept me from showing them what I was, showing  _ him _ who I was. 

My only saving grace was the knowledge that if I gave myself away the children could--would--be found. The cloth around my eyes grew damp and I realized I was crying. 

More rope went around my legs. 

The forward momentum started again, this time disjointed and I bobbed up and down more frequently, like they were holding me at arm's length. I screamed again as terror threatened to pull me under. 

The air shifted and I was shoved into something. A chair. I lurched out of it, not even making it halfway before hands pressed down on my shoulders. Pain burst through me, bright and white-hot, as they forced me back into the chair. I could feel cold seeping in through my clothing.

Something brushed against the back of my calves and suddenly my legs were free. I slammed one forward, but my captors were prepared. The chance to use my other never came as more hands grabbed at me. Shackles, made of metal and ice cold, bound me to the legs of the chair. 

My hands were next. I stilled and so did the person who was undoing my bindings. Fingers grasped my forearms in anticipation of them being released. As soon as the rope was removed I tried to rip free but to no avail. Both of my arms were forced behind me and more metal shackles attached me to the chair. 

Through the gag I was still screaming. I could feel my throat constrict with every curse and plea that came out of me.

And then the air pressure shifted again, like a door opening and closing. 

I sat in that state, tugging on my bindings until I passed out from blood loss. 


	4. Bittersweet

Cool water passed through my lips and dribbled down my chin. Instinct kicked in and I tipped my chin up to drink. The first thing I realized was that I could hear the soft sound of me swallowing mouthfuls of the crisp liquid. 

The blindfold was gone but the room was still dark. I picked my head up, twisting away from the water. Fear of poison made me stop drinking. 

"We would not have worked so hard to get you here only to kill you now." The voice was soft and I  _ recognized _ it; Solas. Breathing hard, I licked my lips and looked around the room. Caught like a rat in a trap, made worse because I couldn't see it.

Elven sight was better in the dark than most other species, but we still needed a small amount of light to see. To my eyes, there was none. So either they had taken my sight, or he could see in the dark better than I could. "Why take me at all?" I demanded, "I caused no permanent harm to those here." 

"Alan would disagree." The voice spoke and the sensation of someone shifting something on my shoulder caused me to jerk--or try to--to the side. "As would Cirdan and Vanya." The cold water was poured over the wound near my neck. I winced when he dabbed at it gently. "From the rumors spreading, you put up a valiant effort to escape." 

"Anyone would if they have been captured before," I snapped. "Taking my hearing was excessive." 

"And necessary." The position of his voice shifted as he moved around me. The soft scuffle of his feet against the floor told me he was very close to my person. "You see, we cannot allow our enemies to gain access to our eluvians." 

The passphrase. 

I nodded. "Alright, that makes sense." I went to continue speaking but he interrupted me. Ire rose up at that, but I kept it to myself. It was one of Luna's hot buttons, and he knew it, so I suspected that he was trying to provoke me. If the female Elvhen had given him a report about me… there was every possibility he already suspected who I was. 

"You broke one of my people's legs." 

"Bones can be mended." It came out as a growl. "Why am I here?" 

"What roused the Qunari’s interest in you?" he returned easily. I remained silent. I had already answered this question. He was testing the waters to see what he could get out of me. He pressed on, "To answer your question, that is the reason you are here. They rarely express interest in any one person. That they found you interesting enough to ignore my people.…" I could picture him shrugging along with his words. "You can imagine my curiosity." 

"So you are the leader, then?" I hedged, subtly testing the bindings that held me. Neither of my hands or legs moved even slightly. My head drooped as I focused on what I could hear, rather than see. 

He'd stopped walking and I could  _ see _ the look in his eyes. Right now he would be so certain it was me. He wouldn't know how, but he would suspect it. It was there in the softness of his voice when he spoke, the way his foot occasionally scuffed across the floor. He was comfortable in this room. It might just be me projecting onto him, but Solas so very rarely dragged his feet across stone. While he was kind, it was uncommon for him to speak gently. 

And with me being in the dark, unable to see him, he wouldn't bother hiding it from his face. 

I was half surprised he hadn't woken me with a kiss, as he had countless times before. It was one of my favorite ways to wake up. 

When he didn't answer, I continued, "I didn't realize I merited enough attention to get a personal audience with the leader." He still didn't move. It was only the sound of his breathing that told me he was still in the room. 

Finally he moved, and I released a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. 

"What brought you into the pathways?" His voice was calm. 

"I wanted to join the rebellion." 

He stopped walking and I realized I had been moving my head, following his steps.

"There are easier ways of doing so." He stood in that one spot and for some reason the hair on the back of my neck rose. I stifled the shiver that ran up my spine. "Perhaps a better question would be  _ how _ you got into them." 

He wanted to know if I knew any phrases. I didn thanks to Abelas. Who had not stripped me of my senses when he took me through the temple's mirror. Suddenly I like Abelas a little bit more.

"It was open," I breathed quietly. 

"Did you open it?" His breath caressed its way across my face and I jumped. He'd moved without me hearing it and was crouched in front of me. I imagined his eyes were roaming every inch of my features in search of a lie. 

"No," I whispered. 

The air around me swirled as he stood and then the door opened, spilling in light from the hallway. I blinked as it reached my eyes. He exchanged soft words with someone outside the room. 

["Bring warm water and some meat. Do we have any chasiend mead?"] Well shit… that was my favorite alcoholic beverage from this world. 

The reply was just as quiet. ["I shall ask, Dread Wolf."] The sound of a retreat down the hallway reached my ears. 

Fen'Harel turned to look at me. "If I release you, will you attack me?" There was a knowing look in his eyes.

I averted mine, looking submissively at the floor. "No, Ser." I had become more meek with the reveal of his name. Before, I’d had no reason to act as if I was in the presence of someone who could shift the reality of the world. Now though? Now I could. 

He chuckled and I could taste the word that was on the tip of his tongue.  _ Liar _ . I had attacked him on many occasions, verbally and physically. He assumed that I would be angry enough to attempt a fist fight. He would have been right if I had been ten years younger. 

The door slid shut, the room going dark for a single moment before a pale blue light winked into existence. It hung suspended in the middle of the room, banishing the shadows. 

I watched as his feet drew closer and refused to turn my head when he walked behind me. He prowled like a predator around me. The faint spark of fear lit the back of my tongue. 

_ Nothing to fear from him, _ I reminded myself gently. At least… I didn't think there was. 

His warm, callused fingers brushed against my wrist as he undid one binding and then the other. 

My shoulders screamed their protest as I shifted them around and brought my hands in front of me. 

When he reached for me, I leaned away and a frown crossed his beautiful features. "There is no need to shy away." I wondered if he was remembering when they'd recovered me from Peacock in Orlais. How I had flinched away from his touch then. 

He leaned forward again, hand extending to lift the bandage on my shoulder. "It is infected." He whispered as he looked at it. I risked a glance at him then and found a frown on his lips. "We will have to burn it out before healing the wound." There was pity in his look. "It will hurt." It didn't have to, I knew that from Drynne. 

His fingers slid across my back as he moved to the other side of me to look at the cut on my palm. "May I?" He asked softly, indicating my hand. I lifted it, holding it close to my chest before extending it out to him. What elf would refuse Fen'Harel and think they could live?

Was he being gentle and kind because he knew who I was? Or was it his natural default kicking in? I knew he could be cold and vengeful, but I had also seen him tend to the wounded on battlefields; been subjected to his menstrations more times than I could recall. But I also knew he struck down his enemies with an efficiency rivaled by few. 

His grip was firm, yet soft as he tilted my hand to the light. Careful fingers undid the knot that bound the dirty cloth around my hand. 

I couldn't look at him. It hurt. Too many good memories floated through my mind's eye. I hadn’t realized how much pull he would have on my heart, even after ten years. Swallowing thickly, I stared at the floor thinking I had been over this. It had been a decade since I'd seen him in person. Yet there was the stirring of embers; plain as daylight. 

It hurt all over again to consider the possibility that he no longer cared. He had been the one to sever contact. That this might be a mask he wore shredded me. 

_ I didn't want one night with him, I wanted all of them.  _ My words came back to haunt me and I huffed out a breath of air. The fear of rejection made my actions sharp. 

"What is the prognosis?" I asked, perhaps a tad too forcefully. 

His stormy eyes looked up at me and all I saw was Gabriel. I sniffed, willing the tears away. Concern touched the edges of his eyes and they darted back and forth between mine. 

"Did you intentionally rub dirt in it?" he asked, a hint of teasing coloring his voice, at war with his expression. He was trying to lighten the mood, to take my pain away. If all this was an act, it was a good one. One I almost fell for. 

I lifted both brows at him and tried to pull my hand back. It was tingling where he held it between his own. This was bad. His face was so close and there was no-absolute-fucking- _ way _ that I was showing enough fear in his presence. He was revered as a god. And here I was sniping mean things at him. 

No elf would do that; no sane one at least. Should I channel my inner Sera and fake insanity?

I averted my eyes, "There wasn't much time, between not dying and then being tied up right after." Not to mention that if I used my magic to do so I would be even more screwed. But I did not need to bring that up. "I am sorry, Ser. You need not tend to it yourself." Once more I tried to pull my hand away but his grip tightened. 

I sucked in a gasp of air and shook a little in my seat. Fuck me why wouldn't he let go? Stubborn, foolish man. Stupid girly hormones. 

Someone knocked on the door. A soft 'come in' had whoever was outside the door entering with a tray of things. Steam drifted lazily from a bowl and I wondered if that was the water or food. I inhaled a little, covering it with a shocked look as a massive elf walked into the door. He might even be taller than Abelas' six-foot-eight. 

"Thank you, Cirdan," Solas said softly as the large man bent over and set it down next to him. 

["You should not be alone with her."] Cirdan's voice was hard when he spoke and I didn't look at him. Man was the stuff of nightmares for a tiny thing like me. His green eyes bored into mine when I'd risked a glance. Wisps of his dark hair escaped his binding. ["She is dangerous."]

Solas voice was patient when he spoke. ["Yes, she is."] It was an easy agreement for him. ["She also poses no threat to me."] His voice was so confident when he spoke. He lifted the bowl--it was indeed water--from next to dried strips of meat and set my hand in it. 

["If she contained the soul of Drynne we would feel--"] he shut up at the look from Fen'Harel. I'd caught a glimpse of it before he had turned his head from me to Cirdan. It was a hard look I'd only seen once on his face before. 

When he called me selfish. 

I sucked in a breath, expecting some sort of outburst, but none came. When I tried to lift my hand out of the water, he turned that look on me, but it softened when he saw fear on my face. 

"Please refrain from removing your hand. Grit and sand have dried among the muscle. We must soften it before it can be washed out." 

"Right," I whispered, and settled my hand in the bowl again. "Sorry, Ser." 

["The woman who carries that soul is unique,”] Fen’Harel said [“It is possible we may not be able to sense it residing in her."] He didn't look at Cirdan as he spoke, but continued to watch my hand. ["Do not underestimate her abilities. Those who have are no longer alive."]

["She does not fit the description."] Damnit, had Abelas been right? Had Solas floated my appearance among his faithful?

["The woman I am looking for can wear different faces."] He was poking at my palm and I winced with every prod, growing more uneasy with each word that dropped out of his lips. ["Each life she has lived has contained a different face, a different identity. It is entirely possible she will wear a new one when she returns to me."]

[" _ Would _ she return to you, Dread Wolf?"] Solas stilled at his words and fear ran through my veins. The air that surrounded him took on a bitter note and I felt the anger that washed off of him. 

Oh shit, he was turning away from me, his face like stone. I cleared my throat. 

"That language is beautiful," I whispered in an attempt to distract him. Ancient Elvhen gave the impression of a talented bard singing a ballad lost to time. 

Fen'Harel stilled and I saw the anger bleed from him. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he turned a smile to me. "Have you heard it before?"

"A few times, though none of my experiences with it were this extensive. To have an entire conversation in it…." 

"Do you speak it?" I felt Cirdan tense from where I sat. 

"Wouldn't it be lovely if I did?" I asked. 

["Dread Wolf--"] I sucked in a breath and Cirdan paused to glare at me. I tipped my head back and away from him, lips pressed tight. Was it really necessary to have this conversation  _ right _ in front of me? 

["Enough, Cirdan."] His words were half bitten off. ["You are dismissed."]

The man hesitated for a moment before he snapped a salute, ["Leave the door open,"] Solas ordered when he nearly slammed it shut. He shifted back to common. "I apologize for his behavior, my people are concerned about leaving me alone in your presence."

I laughed and it sounded shaky to my own ears. "It is hard to imagine someone who looks like me being a threat to you, Fen'Harel." 

"Not so difficult." He didn't smile this time and fixed his full attention on my palm. "It will hurt when the damage is fixed."

"I know," I whispered. "I have been healed before." I just wanted it over and done with. Rapid forced healing was… unlike anything else. It drew strength both from the caster and the individual being healed. I would be drained after this. 

He spared me a glance before green encompassed his hand and he pressed it firmly against mine. I curled around his arm as the muscle in my hand heated up and began to shift. I felt when each strand reattached itself. My fingers dug into the fur around his collar and I muffled my scream into it. 

All at once the pain vanished and I realized what I had done. I shifted away from him hastily, having the good sense to look embarrassed. "I am so sorry about that. I did not mean--"

"It is fine," Solas interrupted. I didn't look at him. "Pain is easier to bear when you share it." I got the feeling that he wasn't talking about my wounds and I didn't have a response, so I remained silent. "This one will take longer." It was a whisper and he sounded slightly constipated. Or was that pain in his voice? 

He didn't give me even a moment to collect myself; pain ruptured through my chest. I screamed again. This time, though, my fingers clenched at the metal chair under me. It continued for a long time, and the edges of my vision were fading to black. If things continued to progress it was possible that I would pass out. It was like he was burning me from the inside out. 

Finally he released me but the pain remained, dulled slightly but still bright. "Breathe," he whispered to me. Magic touched me and I felt it force my lungs to move. I gasped in a breath of air and it came out a wracking cough. I doubled over and he backed up, giving me my space. 

I appreciated the hell out of him for that. Tender, scared and in pain? It was not a good combination for anyone. Slowly I pushed up into a sitting position and looked over at the wound. Surprise filtered through me when I saw that it was scabbed over, like weeks of healing on my own instead of forced through magic. 

I didn't turn my irritated look on him, no matter how much I wanted to. Tucking my head, I just sat there and breathed for a long time. When it steadied, he stepped forward again and I didn't get the chance to shift positions before he started. 

It caught me off guard. I thought he was done, that it was a test. Part of me was glad I had been wrong, the other was angry that he didn't heal it all in one go. Reflexively I reached out and gripped the back of his knee, touching my forehead to it. Gritting my teeth and pressing my lips together muffled the strangled noise that tried to escape. 

As soon as he was done I released him and went slumped against the back of the chair. He knelt on the floor and removed my legs from their bindings. 

I shot out of my seat and retreated from him the instant both were free, hiding my face in the corner. He backed up and I didn't look at him. The sickly smell of surprise floated around my nose. Damn it. He’d done this for a reason. He didn't do anything without a reason. 

"That was inappropriate for one of my station," I called softly behind me. In broken elvhen, ["Sorry, my god."]

I heard his small exhale of breath but did not respond to it. He did not say anything when he retreated from the room. Another piece of me broke off and I left it there on the floor, unwilling to pick it up and examine my feelings more closely. 

_ Damn it. _

  
  


I stayed in that little room for days. Solas did not come back to me, and twice a day they brought me food. Small amounts of it. I wondered if they were ordered to do so by him, if it was a ploy to keep my biotics weak, or if they assumed I did not need much food considering my size. 

On the second day I was in the room, someone brought a pallet for me to sleep on. I whispered a thanks and lay down upon it. Fear kept me awake long after I should have fallen asleep. Had I been found out so soon?

I kept reminding myself that no one knew where Abelas was. That the children were safe and there was no reason for me to be afraid. If Fen'Harel wanted me dead, I would be dead. He would not have wasted his mana to heal me. 

Finally I slept and willed myself into the fade. Remembering my promise to visit my children when they dreamed. 

Hope cascaded through me as I set foot into the dream. Hope that they were asleep, and hope that I was not being followed. I waited far longer than was necessary for Fen'Harel to show himself at the edges of my dreams, but when nothing shifted I allowed myself to calm down and to search for Demitri's presence. His soul sang the loudest to me. That was no surprise since our two souls were near identical, along with our hunger for other souls. I stepped into his dream first. The soft sounds of Marika's voice floated around me, and something inside me twisted. 

It did not take long to find my son, nor to pull him out of his dream. I lifted him out of the cradle he lay in and fit him easily against my hip. His fingers instantly curled in my hair and he happily babbled something at me. Carefully I wrapped my hand around the back of his head and tilted mine down until it rested against his. I missed them so much. Anticipation made my feet quick, the desire to see all of them burning deeply inside of me.

Experience told me that Lily and Gabriel's respective dreams would be nearby, and this close it was impossible to miss them. When we reached the edge of Demitri's dream I wrapped my consciousness around his, pulling him with me. The sounds of Marika's voice fading away pulled at my heartstrings. 

Quickly I gathered my other two children, constructing harnesses for them from the fade so I could safely carry all three at once. And then I stepped into one more dream. This one was unfamiliar to me, but I knew it to be the right one as soon as I was inside. 

Abelas' head jerked up as soon as I'd taken more than three steps into his space. Anger was written on his face and a sword materialized in his hand. ["Show yourself, dream walker."]

Surprise filtered through me. Was there training one could go through to sense the presence of one who slipped in and out of dreams? I tipped my head at him. "It is me, Abelas." 

He lowered his weapon but the anger remained on his face. When he released the blade entirely it vanished, forgotten in the dreamscape. He took five quick steps forward and pointed at me. 

"You lied." 

I balked at his words. Confusion swept over my face. "About?" I prompted. 

"I felt your pain, creature." He took a breath in. "All of it." 

My feet stopped and I looked at the ground. "I did not know you would feel it so strongly." 

"You said you had done this before," he accused. "That it would be a shadow of itself." 

"I have done this a total of two times." I looked up at him and glared. "Two, Sorrow. And the other was not the same species as me. I told you I did not know all of the side effects, I warned you of what I did know." 

He scoffed and walked away from me. I sighed at his back and rolled my eyes but followed him. 

"Have you found a safe place to settle?" I asked quietly. He shot a glare at me and I lifted a brow. 

"Yes." 

I nodded easily enough and set the children down on the ground, building a blanket so they did not have to sit on the dirt. Lily pulled toys into being and together the three of them played. 

Abelas watched with interest. "The child is a dream walker?" 

I rubbed the back of my neck and hummed an affirmative. I moved to sit down, a chair popping in at the last moment. It was plush and very comfortable. Wiggling around in it, I found a good spot and just watched the children play. Missing this,  _ needing _ this.

Moments like this were so rare for the four of us. Always there was something to do, some danger that lurked on the horizon. I wanted to change that. No, I  _ would _ . I just needed time. 

"Was it necessary for you to interrupt my dream?" Abelas' voice was sour and I glanced at him for a moment. 

"He remembers more about me than I remembered him knowing." I propped my head up against the back of the chair and the arm rest. "It could be problematic." My leg bounced where it lay over the side of the arm. 

"I fail to see how this is my concern," Abelas stated dryly. 

I arched a brow at him and inhaled deeply. "He suspects who I am, meaning he will send his spies to search for answers. I am not ready for that. It is quite possible he will uncover my visit to the Inquisitor and discover why I was there." 

Abelas stilled and gave me a sharp look. "It will lead him to the temple, where those there will not hesitate to tell him of you, and of them." He glanced at the children. 

"Yes, that is what I am afraid of." 

"It will not take him long to track me down, if he is aware that I have taken them." 

"No, I suspect it won't." I covered my hand with my eyes. All of this was because I opened my big mouth. 

"He will call me from the temple." That didn't surprise me either. "What will you do?" 

"Nothing." The word was heavy as it left me. "He might be watching, any action on my part will be damning until I can shake him off my trail." 

"How will you do that?" I had his curiosity and it was just a tad cute. The anger had all but vanished from his voice. 

"By being as un-Luna as I can be." I'd already started that tactic. I had hurt him when I called him 'my god.' It was why he hadn't been back. He disliked that title as much as I hated any of my titles.  _ God _ . He didn't see himself as one. It gave him pause, made him think that my arrival was a coincidence. 

Still it wasn't enough and I knew it. 

I wiped a hand across my mouth and looked at Gabriel. It had hurt to see his face in his father's. Still the resemblance was strong and part of my heart tugged. Closing my eyes, I tipped my head back. 

"If he calls me in the meantime?" 

"I throw my plans to the wind and go to you," I whispered. "That you and the children are safe is more important than spying on him." 

"Does the risk not bother you?" 

"Of course it does," I laughed. "The point of this was to take down the veil without him being aware I was back. To learn his plans on  _ how _ to take it down." 

Abelas was quiet for a moment and I didn't know what to say. "Why does he suspect you?" 

"Because I was stupid." It was a quiet statement. I sat forward, resting my elbows on my knees, hands clasped. "How long can you stall before going to him, if he calls?" 

"A week, maybe two." Abelas looked away from me, toward the trees that stood tall and proud at the edges of his dream. "In the old world I could have given you years. Something this broken world does not offer." 

In the old world I would have just been dead and wouldn't need time. My hands came up to press against my face for a moment before I tented them and rested my chin on my thumbs. 

"How will he call for you?" I was tired and wanted sleep, but this was more important. Perhaps Abelas would watch over me when this was finished. I doubted it, but there might be a chance. 

"He will send Compassion." 

My back went straight. "Compassion?" 

"A spirit, they are friends." 

Fuck me sideways. If  _ Cole _ came to him and he was a spirit? He would sing to Solas. He would see it as helping and wouldn't hesitate. Maybe if he had been human I might have been able to sway him, but as Compassion he would want to help both of us. It was hurting me keeping the children from Solas, he was hurting because we weren’t with him. Cole would see it as a win all around. 

"This complicates things." I rose and began to pace. "You have training in the fade, yes? Do you know how to keep others out of your dreams?"

"Yes, but it would be damning." 

"If he calls for you, he already knows." 

"I cannot run from him, he will find us. His children are more important than any one of the People. He will kill me in the fade." And make him Tranquil in the real world. 

"I know." I waved a hand. "And if he chases you, when he catches up he'll just be all the angrier." A huff of air blew out of me. 

"There is no solution to this, Luna," Abelas whispered. "He will find out. He will get access to the children." 

"I need to move them to a new person." I scratched my lip.

"And give another piece of your soul as the price?" Abelas sounded slightly angry at that. "Does it mean nothing to you?" 

"To keep the children safe?" I didn't look at him. "I would become soulless for that." I shook my head. "This is all theoretical right now. For the moment we continue on as planned." 

He gave me a wry look and I shrugged. 

"Would you rather I not tell you?" I asked softly. "Have him just show up out of nowhere?" 

"No."

I nodded and leaned back in the chair. "Will you watch me?" My eyes slipped closed. 

"What?" It sounded like he blurted it. 

"I need sleep, Sorrow." I yawned, jaw stretching tight. "Will you watch over me?" 

He was quiet for so long, I was afraid I would need to walk away and find a secluded place to prop up shields, then came his quiet, "Yes." 

Sleep drifted closer, dancing at the edges of my awareness. It was snatched away for a moment as the boundary of his dream solidified and a shield slid over us all. I was impressed Abelas knew how to do that, but then again even non dreamer ancients would know how to protect their dreams. 


End file.
